Archive for the ‘Hippies’ Category

That Is So Cliche.

Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my surrogate father.

Amherst, Massachusetts

Fuck You.

Hippie wannabe: Mmm, this tastes so much better than a non-solar-powered smoothie.

Dickinson College Earthfest
Carlisle, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Future Unemployed

It’s Like Having a Principle, Only Easier

Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.

Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee

Just Made My Last Payment

Hippie chick: I am the proud owner of an American vagina, thank you very much.

Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

Why Hippies So Often Make Millions… Oh, Wait

Hippie, addressing group: If you can get you guitar to play music at the same frequency as telepathy, you’ll make millions!

Portland, Oregon

Gotta Go With Your Strengths

20-something hippie blonde: What can I say? I love humping people!

Tenley Town
Washington, DC

Getting Fucked Also Temporarily Disconnects One’s Gaydar

Hippie teenage girl: He’s such a screaming campy queer, I thought he was gay–but he’s not! At least, he doesn’t seem gay when he’s fucking you. He does all the rest of the time, though.

Hither Green
London
England

Overheard by: Jess