It’s Like Hav­ing a Prin­ci­ple, On­ly Eas­i­er

Gra­nola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awe­some! He, like, votes no on every­thing.

Bon­na­roo Fes­ti­val
Man­ches­ter, Ten­nessee

That Is So Cliche.

Work­ing-class hip­pie: Oh, I have an­oth­er porn sto­ry!
For­eign hip­pie: The one about your mom?
Work­ing-class hip­pie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my sur­ro­gate fa­ther.

Amherst, Mass­a­chu­setts

Just Made My Last Pay­ment

Hip­pie chick: I am the proud own­er of an Amer­i­can vagi­na, thank you very much.

West­ern Wash­ing­ton Uni­ver­si­ty
Belling­ham, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Rachel

Fuck You.

Hip­pie wannabe: Mmm, this tastes so much bet­ter than a non-so­lar-pow­ered smooth­ie.

Dick­in­son Col­lege Earth­fest
Carlisle, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Fu­ture Un­em­ployed

Why Hip­pies So Of­ten Make Mil­lions… Oh, Wait

Hip­pie, ad­dress­ing group: If you can get you gui­tar to play mu­sic at the same fre­quen­cy as telepa­thy, you’ll make mil­lions!

Port­land, Ore­gon

Got­ta Go With Your Strengths

20-some­thing hip­pie blonde: What can I say? I love hump­ing peo­ple!

Ten­ley Town
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Get­ting Fucked Al­so Tem­porar­i­ly Dis­con­nects One’s Gay­dar

Hip­pie teenage girl: He’s such a scream­ing campy queer, I thought he was gay–but he’s not! At least, he does­n’t seem gay when he’s fuck­ing you. He does all the rest of the time, though.

Hith­er Green
Lon­don
Eng­land

Over­heard by: Jess

Some Gay Mar­riage Op­po­nents’ “Slip­pery Slope” Ar­gu­ments Are Ten­u­ous at Best

Re­al­ly tall hip­pie to re­al­ly short girl in over­alls: If that’s what you think, then why can’t I rape dead peo­ple?

El Campesino
Al­toona, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Louise H

Here, Have Some In­cense and Pep­per­mints

Hip­pie guy: I sug­gest you stop pick­ing up small an­i­mals and fruit skins. It’s not good for you.

Eu­gene, Ore­gon

Just Tak­ing a Va­ca­tion from the Met­ric Sys­tem

Guy, see­ing a tech­no dance par­ty: Hey! Are you guys in the cir­cus?
Hip­pie kid with dreads #1: Fuck no!
Hip­pie kid with dreads #2: No, we’re Cana­di­an.

At­lanta, Geor­gia