Archive for the ‘Hippies’ Category

That Is So Cliche.

Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt* – my surrogate father.

Amherst, Massachusetts

Fuck You.

Hippie wannabe: Mmm, this tastes so much better than a non-solar-powered smoothie.

Dickinson College Earthfest
Carlisle, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Future Unemployed

It’s Like Having a Principle, Only Easier

Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.

Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee

Just Made My Last Payment

Hippie chick: I am the proud owner of an American vagina, thank you very much.

Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

Why Hippies So Often Make Millions… Oh, Wait

Hippie, addressing group: If you can get you guitar to play music at the same frequency as telepathy, you’ll make millions!

Portland, Oregon

Gotta Go With Your Strengths

20-something hippie blonde: What can I say? I love humping people!

Tenley Town
Washington, DC

Getting Fucked Also Temporarily Disconnects One’s Gaydar

Hippie teenage girl: He’s such a screaming campy queer, I thought he was gay – but he’s not! At least, he doesn’t seem gay when he’s fucking you. He does all the rest of the time, though.

Hither Green
London
England

Overheard by: Jess