Archive for the ‘History’ Category

Good Point –No Ef­fect on Re­li­gious Be­liefs

Pro­fes­sor: Now, if we did elim­i­nate ill­ness and achieved im­mor­tal­i­ty there might be se­ri­ous re­li­gious reper­cus­sions. Can any­one think of how this might af­fect re­li­gious be­liefs?
Bim­bette: Well, like, if Hitler were im­mor­tal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a mil­lion years and then, like, chill out for eter­ni­ty, you know?

Eter­nal Youth and Im­mor­tal­i­ty Sem­i­nar
Lafayette Col­lege, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead be­cause he SHOT him­self

A Re­al Sex God

Lit­er­a­ture teacher: So what the Eu­ro­peans did was take the de­scrip­tion of Je­sus from the texts and made their im­ages of him Cau­casian so as to be more re­lat­able to those they were teach­ing to.
Girl of ques­tion­able lit­er­a­cy: Eu­ro­pean Je­sus was hot.

Delta Sec­ondary School
Lad­ner, British Co­lum­bia
Cana­dia

From The Mouths of Babes…

Lit­tle boy (point­ing at large cru­ci­fix in grave­yard): What is that guy do­ing?
Babysit­ter: That’s Je­sus.
Lit­tle boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysit­ter: Yes.
Lit­tle boy: But Je­sus is still alive, is­n’t he? Why would some­body kill Je­sus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysit­ter: You know what? It’s a com­pli­cat­ed sto­ry and we’ll talk about it lat­er.
Lit­tle boy: Bloody Je­sus is scary.

Mis­sion San­ta Bar­bara, Cal­i­for­nia

When the Hud­son Broth­ers Won the No­bel Gay Prize

World His­to­ry teacher: The Nazis im­pris­oned more peo­ple than just the Jews — hand­i­capped peo­ple, ho­mo­sex­u­als–
Bim­bette, in­ter­rupt­ing: –They had ho­mos back then? I thought they did­n’t in­vent that un­til, like, the ’70s.

Os­bourn High School
Man­as­sas, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: This is the last time I take a class that is­n’t Hon­ors

Ah Well, You Can Al­ways Be­come Pres­i­dent.

Pro­fes­sor: Isaac New­ton, on his deathbed, was proud to an­nounce that he was a vir­gin. So if any of you want to be fa­mous sci­en­tists, you are go­ing to have to be will­ing to make a few sac­ri­fices.
Girl, rais­ing hand: Um.
Pro­fes­sor: Oh, is it too late?

De An­za Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege
Cu­per­ti­no, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: shy­in­vis­i­ble­girl loves physics