Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

Any­body Have Any Bread?

(stu­dent coughs vi­o­lent­ly in­to hands, spew­ing fake blood)
Lit pro­fes­sor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Stu­dent: (cough­ing up more blood) Can I go to the bath­room?
Lit pro­fes­sor: Oh my god, go, go!
(stu­dent leaves)
Lit pro­fes­sor: (re­al­iz­ing it’s April 1st) Ha­ha… His con­sump­tion smells like rasp­ber­ries.

Col­orado Uni­ver­si­ty, Boul­der

Over­heard by: In the back of the class­room

The An­gel of Midterms Spares Jared

Pro­fes­sor: I’ve de­cid­ed to move the midterm to next week, be­cause ap­par­ent­ly we are miss­ing a sub­stan­tial amount of Jews.
Stu­dent to friend: Holy crap! Passover just saved my ass!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Mary­land
Col­lege Park, Mary­land

Over­heard by: BECK­EKE