Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category
Amen, Sister
Coworker, about Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve: For people our age it’s just not New Year’s until we see Dick.
Sanford, Florida
Who Else Would Pee on My Christmas Tree?
Superior girl: You’re just stumped by the Father-Christmas-isn’t-a-cat argument.
Norwich
England
Overheard by: Inigo Montoya
Or “Why Didn’t You Abandon Us Years Ago?”
Punk: Why don’t they have a Father’s Day card that says, ‘Dad, you suck. Happy Father’s Day’?
Greensboro, North Carolina
Anybody Have Any Bread?
(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.
Colorado University, Boulder
Overheard by: In the back of the classroom
Burned My Eyebrows Off More Than Once
Girl #1: It’s like those candy cigarettes you used to get at Halloween. It teaches kids bad principles.
Girl #2: Those taste like crap anyway.
Guy: Yeah, and they never catch.
Boone, North Carolina
The Angel of Midterms Spares Jared
Professor: I’ve decided to move the midterm to next week, because apparently we are missing a substantial amount of Jews.
Student to friend: Holy crap! Passover just saved my ass!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: BECKEKE
How Many Things Are Wrong With This Quote? Show Your Work.
Guy: Ohmigod, you don’t look Jewish, I wouldn’t have known if you didn’t tell me.
Girl: Awww, thanks!
Guy: So what are you doing for the holidays?
Girl: Christmas isn’t about Jesus…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bernadette
Isn’t That Cute?
Man, pointing out the window, to his wife: Look, honey, they even have cars!
http://zipster.wordpress.com/2007/08/15/overheard-on-the-plane-as-we-were-landing-in-puerto-vallarta/
Overheard by: The Zipster
And a Fun and Flirty One
Girl, returning from holidays in America: So yeah, I got put in actual jail.
Friend: For drinking on the beach?
Girl: Yup, got the orange jumpsuit and all.
Friend: Did you get to keep it?
Girl: I didn’t like to ask, to be honest. Would’ve been a savage souvenir, though.
UCC Campus
Ireland
