Archive for the ‘Hoochies’ Category

Suck His Toes and You’ll Be High for Days

Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit. Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)

The Old Good Cock/Bad Cock Routine

Chatty lady: So, did I tell you I was getting married?
Man: That’s great. I’m happy for you.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I’m having a hard time giving up my old boyfriend, though. He really understands the way I like to be dominated in bed. The sex is just sooo good, I’m not sure I can stop seeing him.
Man: Uhhh, yeah, I guess I can understand that.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I guess I’m just in a monogamous relationship with two men. Birmingham, Alabama

I’m Not Irresistible; That Makes It His Fault

Chick #1: Oh my god, I was so drunk last night! Do you think Lisa will get mad that I made out with her boyfriend?
Chick #2: Yes.
Chick #1: Well, it wasn’t really my fault.
Chick #2: Yes, it was. You basically went up to him, batted your eyelashes, and started making out. Santa Cruz, California Overheard by: Laura