Blonde ditz: Oh my god, Philadelphia is, like, pockets!
Brunette ditz: I know, right? There are just sooooo many pockets!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: hands in my pockets
Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category
I Must Have Been Kirstie Alley’s Waiter at Some Point
Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y’know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I’ve done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude — you’ve never been there… with the trough…
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I’ve done it.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html
Overheard by: florack
Unless They Were Capri Pants
Philosopher: The world would be a better place if everyone wore pants.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/05/well-yeah-duh.html
Overheard by: sarah
I Can’t Understand Why It’s Illegal!
Big dude on phone: Yeah, I am feeling better… I woke up at four a.m. this morning, but it’s okay — I’m taking that euthanasia stuff and it seems to be helping.
Tram, Victoria Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Louise
I’m Not Sticking My Dick Anywhere That Smells That Bad
Ranting idiot: I mean, what the fuck? We live in the United States. It is 2006. There is no excuse for having fucking rotten teeth. I don’t care if she is your sister — brush your fucking teeth!
Town Hall Café
Empire, Colorado
Overheard by: try 2007 — TK
Give Him a Break. It’s Kentucky.
Man walking through automatic doors: Wow, it’s the store of the future. The doors open by themselves!
Louisville, Kentucky
Feared I Might Inadvertently Become a Lesbian
Girl #1: I know for a fact this year is going to be way better than last year.
Girl #2: Why’s that?
Girl #1: Because this year I actually have designer clothes. Last year I didn?t have any, and I was so unhappy!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/15/sanity-and-happiness-are-an-impossible-combination-mark-twain/
Overheard by:
As Appropriate As the Word “Oriental,” Anyway
Middle-aged white lady #1: I think I’m going to buy this for my daughter’s boyfriend’s parents. You know, because it’s oriental and they’re oriental.
Middle-aged white lady #2: That is so appropriate!
St. Augustine, Florida
Overheard by: Ruth
Or, As Much So As Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Guy: My sister and I are twins, but I was born first.
Woman #1: Do you mean you just came out first?
Guy: Well, see, what happened was I am two years older than my sister. [Everyone stares at each other.]Woman #2: … So you and your sister are twins, but she is two years younger?
Guy: Oh, wait, I’m getting confused with another family story. I am two years older than my sister, but I’m pretty sure we’re not twins, either.
900 West Valley Road
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Extra Surprising When We Found Out You Were a Boy
Dumb blonde: Like that time we were at that party, and everyone was naked, and it was a surprise party!
State College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I bet it was a surprise, all right…
