Woman: Shhhh, people are sleeping. Not everybody wants to hear about Mormon underpants.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Archive for the ‘Illinois’ Category
Why Professors Rarely Ask Students to Introduce Themselves on the First Day Of Class Anymore
Nerd: I don’t know about you, but I have trouble being romantic when I’m sweating to death.
Community College
Illinois
Overheard by: adderall driven
Had to Think about It, Though, Didn’t You?
Bag lady: Change? Spare any change?
Guy walking towards a church: Sorry.
Bag lady: Wanna fuck?
Guy: Um, no, thanks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: So who would be paying whom?
You’re Lucky You Were Able to Kiss All My Anger Away
Guy #1: Dude… that joke went to far.
Guy #2: You know what was going too far, David*? Breaking into my house.
Bolingbrook High School
Bolingbrook, Illinois
Who Wants to Know?
Little boy: My teacher doesn’t wear a bra!
Mother: Did she tell you that or did you just notice?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Philip Pullman: Goddamn It!
[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?
Great Escape Theater
Illinois
Overheard by: The Surly Usher
Your Honor, I Was Only Following His Instructions
Small Mexican man in hot dog suit: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me.
20-ish chick waiting to cross street: No, thank you.
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me!
20-ish chick: No, really — thank you, but I’ll pass. [Muttering] God, will this light ever change?!
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me!
Wrigley Field
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cubs Fan
Only in the Holodeck, Though.
Proud girl: Ever since I gave up drinking, I have been drinking so much wine.
Chicago, Illinois
When You Work for the City, You Take What Fun You Can Get
India-Indian conductor: We will need to stand by in just a few minutes for some maintenance work. We’re having some problems with the brakes, and they will need to be checked… Actually, they’re really not working… At all. [Everyone exchanges looks when doors instantly close and train pulls out of station, rounding the next corner at high speed.]
Chicago El, Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Comforting words
Actually…
Psychology instructor: If you look at the castle in The Little Mermaid, you’ll see there are some phallic subliminal messages…
Student in the back row: It’s a giant penis castle!
Psychology Class, Northwestern University
Illinois
