Chick pointing at port-a-potty: Well, I guess I’m going to the bathroom now.
Dude: Do you fold or crumple?
Chick: This conversation has gone too far for me.
Dude: I fold. Well, depends on my mood.
Union Park
Chicago, Illinois
Archive for the ‘Illinois’ Category
Ooo, What About an Intravenous Drip Filled with Cosmo?
Girl #1: I am so excited for the Sex and the City movie!
Girl #2: Me too! We should go out for drinks before the movie. Not too many cuz then we will have to take potty brakes during the movie and I don't want to miss anything!
Girl #1: Oh, good call, maybe we should wear diapers. I would totally wear a diaper for this movie!
Girl #2: Totally!
Peoria, Illinois
Well, When the Penis Is Erect and the Vagina Is Lubricated…
Gangsta guy: So Brenda had sex with her cousin, but didn't know it was her cousin.
Woman: How do you do that?!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
The Slut Recordkeeping System Parallels Major League Baseball’s
Drunk girl, loudly, to her drunk friends: I mean, she’s slept with or semi-slept with more people than I have!
Clark and Broadway
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: flunk_punk
How Child Psychologists Stay in Business
Kid wailing during first sex scene in Brokeback Mountain: I don’t want to watch this movie anymooore!
Illinois
Overheard by: martha
My Explanation of “Airtight” Was Too Much for Them
Girl at mall: Did I tell you about traumatizing the Amish family?
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: Frito Bandito
And He Was All, “But I’m Just the Babysitter!”
Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!
Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois
No More Babysitting for You, Suzanne.
Nerdy girl to Asian friend: I mean, it was pathetic. I could've had my top off and had a sign around my neck that said “free blowjobs” and they wouldn't have noticed. They were all crowded around Mike watching him play Pokemon.
Chicago, Illinois
If He Asked You Out, He Probably Likes Crazy Drag Queens
Girl looking at herself in the mirror to stranger: Do I look crazy? Do I look like a drag queen? I'm on a first date and I'm really nervous.
Bar Bathroom
Chicago, Illinois
Ho Couture
Subway musician to friend: That’s great! Now if only there was a cum-stained dress!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Terry B