Girl: I basically touched his dick, through the transitive property.
Northbrok, Illinois
Overheard by: Jake
Archive for the ‘Illinois’ Category
None Of Which Are All That Hard
Student: Have you ever heard of the penis game?
Female professor: Which one? I’ve played many penis games.
Greek Myth Class
Illinois Wesleyan University
Overheard by: problem
Crying Is Her Cardio
Girl #1: I’m so glad you could make it out tonight! How are you?
Girl #2: I’m okay. I have a headache from crying.
Steppenwolff Theater
Chicago, Illinois
So, Satan, I’ll Be Heavyweight Champion, but I Have to Name All My Kids “George”?
Middle-aged woman to college-aged son: … And that’s when George Foreman had a choice.
Chicago Art Institute
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kate
A+
Black student, casually: Wait, let me get this straight: he was going to participate, but he was late, so he decided to hate, and that’s what started this debate?
Teacher, baffled: Did you just rap that at me?
Columbia College Fiction Department
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: flunk_punk
And Their Latter-Day Stains
Woman: Shhhh, people are sleeping. Not everybody wants to hear about Mormon underpants.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Why Professors Rarely Ask Students to Introduce Themselves on the First Day Of Class Anymore
Nerd: I don’t know about you, but I have trouble being romantic when I’m sweating to death.
Community College
Illinois
Overheard by: adderall driven
Had to Think about It, Though, Didn’t You?
Bag lady: Change? Spare any change?
Guy walking towards a church: Sorry.
Bag lady: Wanna fuck?
Guy: Um, no, thanks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: So who would be paying whom?
You’re Lucky You Were Able to Kiss All My Anger Away
Guy #1: Dude… that joke went to far.
Guy #2: You know what was going too far, David*? Breaking into my house.
Bolingbrook High School
Bolingbrook, Illinois
Who Wants to Know?
Little boy: My teacher doesn’t wear a bra!
Mother: Did she tell you that or did you just notice?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
