Intercom: The moving walkway is ending.
Little boy: The moving walkway is pooping! Haha! Pooping!
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
Archive for the ‘Illinois’ Category
Some Meteorologists Get Too Into Their Work
Meathead professor: And they climaxed in August, in all their climactic glory!
Chicago, Illinois
…If That’s the Word I Want
Guy #1: That is awesome! Awesome!
Guy #2: Yeah, it would be cool, until you got ectoplasm everywhere.
Concordia University
River Forest, Illinois
Overheard by: That would be messy.
When One Partner Wants to Have “The Talk,” It Just Fucking Happens
Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing’s wrong. We don’t need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing’s wrong. I’m on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.
Chicago, Illinois
These Can Be Subdivided into Breast-Men and Leg-Men
Dude on cell: Hey, all I know is lonely men love chicken…
Illinois Wesleyan University
Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Identifying Your Feelings Is an Important First Step.
Huge guy with a Mohawk: It worries me that I can’t smell my deodorant.
Grocery Store
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Deana
After the “Yule Log” Incident, I Can Never Be Sure
Happy man: Fred* and I really had fun last night. We fed Stumpy a cupcake!
Friend, after long pause: Christ, I hope that’s not a euphemism…
Chicago, Illinois
Um, the Boy Never Gets the Girl?
Professor (about Hamlet): So how is this like Lesbian porn?
Illinois Wesleyan University
Would You Say It While Brandishing a Riding Crop?
35-year-old man: Do you know what I did for you? I left my home, my wife. I cheated because I was cheated on, I know what that’s like. You’re turning 30, you need a man, what’s a woman at 30? You’re alone!
28-year-old woman: You’re having a midlife crisis. Women don’t get those. I’m there for you, like, “you should stop at three drinks because you’re a terrible drunk.“
35-year-old man: You’d do that for me?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Matt
Then The Gloves Are Off!
Economics professor: I don’t judge others’ lifestyles. (pause) I mean…unless they are a total trainwreck.
Illinois State University
