Archive for the ‘Illinois’ Category

From the New Testament Cutting-Room Floor

Queer: Oh my god, look, it’s Mary. Mary! Maaary!
Mary: Heyyy, bitches! What’s going on?
Queer: Did he love it, Mary? Did he absolutely love it? Where’s Basil? Where is Basil, Mary?
Mary: He’s in the bag, baby, he’s in the bag.

Union Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Aly

… My Minimum Penis Requirement

Drunk blonde: So, what do you think of American women?
Irish guy: Well, I don’t know how to say this delicately, but I prefer American men.
Drunk blonde: Mhmmm… So, do you have a girlfriend back home?
Irish guy: I’m not sure you quite understand…

Bar
Chicago, Illinois

God, You're So Competitive, Jason!

Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island… right?
Ditzy woman's daughter: I think that's the smartest thing that's ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.

Harrisburg, Illinois