Archive for the ‘Illinois’ Category

Roseanne Barr: The Flight At­ten­dant Years

An­gry suit: When is this plane go­ing to take off? I have a very im­por­tant meet­ing to get to!
Flight at­ten­dant: The in­com­ing plane is de­layed, sir, there’s noth­ing we can do at the mo­ment.
An­gry suit: Well, are you go­ing to make arrange­ments for me to get on an­oth­er flight? This is ur­gent! Do you know who I am?
Flight at­ten­dant (over loud­speak­er): Ex­cuse me, ladies and gen­tle­men, there is a gen­tle­man at the desk who does not know who he is. If any­one has any in­for­ma­tion about his iden­ti­ty, please come for­ward.

Mid­way Air­port
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Would You Like to Bor­row My Slinky?

Girl #1: Yeah, and so I threw the In­ter­net cord from the top of the fire es­cape down to the bot­tom in­stead of walk­ing all the way down. It was pret­ty ex­cit­ing.
Girl #2: Um­mm, okay then…
Girl #1: Well, it was okay! It’s like throw­ing a ba­by down the stairs — you know you should­n’t, but you do it any­way!
Girl #2: Okay…