Teenage girl to friend: Ugh! Eric gets mad at me when I tell people things, you get mad when I don't tell you things…just tell him to fuck off and leave my boobs out of it!
Rumson, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category
Almost As If Drinking Affected My Judgment in Some Way
Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throwing up, but now that's just a fun story I tell and nobody lost their respect for me.
Guy #2: Except for the girl you were hitting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don't know. Her nickname was “dicktooth.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
She Doesn’t Even Recognize Our Sincere and Unyielding Love for Children
Pre-school teacher #1: Which kids do you want in your group today?
Pre-school teacher #2: Oh, I don’t really care. Just not Monica*. I cant stand her.
Pre-school teacher #1: Yeah, I know. It’s like it’s her period every friggin’ day!
Pre-school teacher #2: Yeah, she’s such a little frigid bitch!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: first day on the job
…So I Take Drugs
Guy: You've got to listen to your body.
Gal: But my body's such a whiny bitch.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephan Zielinski
Rain on Your Wedding Day, for Instance, Is Just Good Luck
[At computer lab.]Student #1: Try looking up “irony-“, that might work.
Student #2: Irony isn’t even a word, idiot.
Royalton, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lynn
In Some Cultures, That’s the Highest Compliment
Drunk girl yelling to bald guy from car window: You left your toupee in my vagina!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Paige & Liz
But What’s Better Than Being Desired by Men You Despise?
Girl with glasses: Yeah, so ever since I got these glasses hipster guys keep hitting on me.
Friend: So? What’s wrong with hipster guys?
Girl with glasses: Eh, nothing really. It’s just, you know, you’re living in Albuquerque — how hip can you be?
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Implant It There, If You Will
Woman on cell: So I told him to quit being a titty and put it in the backseat.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Flossy Jossie
Except Now I Need a Ride
Student on cell: So, I was going to call you back, but I didn’t want to call you.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/fuck-you-very-much-for-your-honesty.html
Mom's Just Mean
Guy #1: Yo, she can't be saying that “you small shit” to you, man. Was it limp or fully flexed?
Guy #2: No, it was ready to go.
Guy #1: Damn, she trippin.
Tysons Corner, Vriginia