We Have No Words for This Quote.

Woman: Do you have the book How to Fix Your Mar­riage with­out Words?
Salesla­dy: Sor­ry, it looks like we don’t have that in stock right now.
Woman: Fuck!

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Tay­lor

That’s Ob­vi­ous­ly the Isa­iah Wash­ing­ton Memo­r­i­al

Mid­dle-aged wife: Oh, hon­ey, look! It’s the George Jef­fer­son memo­r­i­al.
Mid­dle-aged hus­band: Se­ri­ous­ly. You are such an id­iot.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

A New Gram­mar Book by Tyra Banks

Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk leg­i­ble!

Mem­phis, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: James

So I Sleep with the Staff at Crunch in Ex­change for Mem­ber­ship

Girl #1: You’re a fat whore. Well…minus the fat part.
Girl #2: What­ev­er. I’d rather be a whore than fat.
Girl #3: I like your morals!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/07/14/if-by-morals-you-mean-breasts-then-thanks/

Over­heard by: Ian

Is That by Herbal Essences?

Bot­tle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your col­or done!
Nat­ur­al blonde gen­tle­man: Bitch, this comes from Ado­nis genes gift­ed from on high.

Tam­pa, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove

Why Won’t You Live Down to My Ex­pec­ta­tions of You?

Cab­bie: Hey, ever get the urge to just whip out your pup­pies for the dri­ver?
Girl: Um, no. (sev­er­al min­utes lat­er, while get­ting out) Cab­bie whores!

Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Which Is Why AA Gives You a Spon­sor and Some New Friends

Girl on bus: I’ve been try­ing to quit drink­ing and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gal­lon of vod­ka, and I’m all, “bitch, what you do­ing?”

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

So Maybe She Need­ed Out-of-This-World Sex

Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She has­n’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five sec­onds out of your day to see how I’m do­ing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.

Barnes & No­ble
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Hobo

Which Was “No Up­per-Body Strength”

Fe­male stu­dent #1: Eeew, she has a rolling back­pack, you know what that means…
Fe­male stu­dent #2: Whore?
Fe­male stu­dent #1: Ab­solute­ly not what I was go­ing to say.

San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

“My Ha­tred for Teach­ing Is Vast As the Ocean”

Eng­lish teacher: Can any­one tell me what the de­f­i­n­i­tion of a sim­i­le is?
Stu­dent: Like your ass…
Eng­lish teacher: What did you say!?
Stu­dent: Like or as?
Eng­lish teacher: Oh…yeah.

St. Joe­sph High School
New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Dav­el