…But Be­fore I Start to Spoil

16-year-old girl #1: I wan­na wait to have kids, you know? But I don’t wan­na be old or any­thing. I think like 19 or some­thin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Os­car wants to knock me up and I’m like “no bitch, I don’t even have a li­cense yet.” We’re think­ing af­ter I turn 18.

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Maybe You Could Throw a Few of Those Stalk­ers My Way?

Girl #1: I hate be­ing stalked over Face­book. They’re al­so creepy guys that I’m not in­ter­est­ed in. They are just wast­ing their time and mine.
Girl #2: It can’t be that bad, can it?
Girl #1: You don’t un­der­stand — you’re not pret­ty like me.

http://overheardina2.blogspot.com/2006/08/facebook-stalking.html

Over­heard by: kol­by

Once It Be­comes a Func­tion­ing Mem­ber of So­ci­ety, We’ll Talk

Green­peace vol­un­teer hand­ing out pam­phlets: Sir, do you want to help save the en­vi­ron­ment?
Suit: Ab­solute­ly not.

Down­town Cross­ing
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

We Have No Words for This Quote.

Woman: Do you have the book How to Fix Your Mar­riage with­out Words?
Salesla­dy: Sor­ry, it looks like we don’t have that in stock right now.
Woman: Fuck!

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Tay­lor

That’s Ob­vi­ous­ly the Isa­iah Wash­ing­ton Memo­r­i­al

Mid­dle-aged wife: Oh, hon­ey, look! It’s the George Jef­fer­son memo­r­i­al.
Mid­dle-aged hus­band: Se­ri­ous­ly. You are such an id­iot.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

A New Gram­mar Book by Tyra Banks

Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk leg­i­ble!

Mem­phis, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: James

So I Sleep with the Staff at Crunch in Ex­change for Mem­ber­ship

Girl #1: You’re a fat whore. Well…minus the fat part.
Girl #2: What­ev­er. I’d rather be a whore than fat.
Girl #3: I like your morals!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/07/14/if-by-morals-you-mean-breasts-then-thanks/

Over­heard by: Ian

Is That by Herbal Essences?

Bot­tle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your col­or done!
Nat­ur­al blonde gen­tle­man: Bitch, this comes from Ado­nis genes gift­ed from on high.

Tam­pa, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove

Why Won’t You Live Down to My Ex­pec­ta­tions of You?

Cab­bie: Hey, ever get the urge to just whip out your pup­pies for the dri­ver?
Girl: Um, no. (sev­er­al min­utes lat­er, while get­ting out) Cab­bie whores!

Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Which Is Why AA Gives You a Spon­sor and Some New Friends

Girl on bus: I’ve been try­ing to quit drink­ing and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gal­lon of vod­ka, and I’m all, “bitch, what you do­ing?”

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton