Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!
Switzerland
Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category
Quiz: Which Of These Statements Is True About Audrina from The Hills?
Guy #1, shocked and angry: Dude, she’s autistic!
Guy #2: Yeah! But she’s a full functioning autistic, so fuck you for judging.
Ikea
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Ferdinand
Which Was “No Upper-Body Strength”
Female student #1: Eeew, she has a rolling backpack, you know what that means…
Female student #2: Whore?
Female student #1: Absolutely not what I was going to say.
San Francisco, California
A Dallas Vacation Really Makes You Appreciate New York
Queer to friend: It’s pretentious, it’s stupid, it sucks, and I love it.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: keeeem
It’s All Fun and Games ’til Somebody Pokes a Baby Out
Loud eighth grader: Michael’s such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You’re in eighth grade, you shouldn’t be letting anybody in your pants!
Potomac, Maryland
Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject…
Oh, Learn How to Spell.
Adult male to adult female and teen: You know what I told her? I says “you’re a cunt, with a capital K.”
Outside Skateboard Shop
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Jesus: The One Guy Whose Shit Didn’t Stink
High chick spotting dirty hippie: Oooh! He’s cute!
Drunk chick: No, he’s dirty!
High chick: He looks like Jesus!
Sober chick: He might look like Jesus, but he smells like shit!
Arizona
Overheard by: Designated Driver
You’ll Pay, Like All the Others, When My Time Machine Is Complete
Five-year-old son: I am going to see the Reds yesterday with Mom.
Father: You mean tomorrow?
Five-year-old son: No, yesterday.
Father, puzzled: I think you mean tomorrow, buddy.
Five-year-old son, frustrated: Ugh! You’re a pea-brain, Dad!
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: teachinghimthewrongthings
You Keep Bringing Them Home for Me
Muscle gal: You are such a fuckin’ pussy.
Muscle guy: Fuck that, I could take a seven-foot black man.
Muscle gal: Awww, I know.
West County YMCA
St. Louis, Missouri
Meet the Hippest Kids in Montana
Tall adolescent: Peach sucks. Daisy’s okay, but peach sucks.
Short adolescent: See, I’ve always been more of a toad fan. Even if he does look kind of like a circumcised wang.
Tall adolescent: Oh, you.
Missoula, Montana
