Guy: You’ve got to listen to your body.
Gal: But my body’s such a whiny bitch.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephan Zielinski
Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category
The Female Equivalent Of, “Do You Have Any Balls?”
Ghetto chick screaming at other: Do you deserve your ovaries? I parked your car for you, bitch!
Porter Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: well, do you?
Nobody Can Do Sexual Harassment Like the Insane
Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there’s a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma’am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin’ to fuck me standing up!? Why don’t you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma’am, I’m calling the police.
Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Try Reading to Them or Something
Loud girl to friend: Calm your nipples, bitch!
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Yeah. I Guess.
Guy: Men are bastards. I’m a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?
Norman, Oklahoma
Almost As If Drinking Affected My Judgment in Some Way
Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throwing up, but now that’s just a fun story I tell and nobody lost their respect for me.
Guy #2: Except for the girl you were hitting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don’t know. Her nickname was “dicktooth.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
SVU: Tucson Failed to Catch on with Viewers
Crazy man to woman walking to her car: Sir! Sir! There is evidence here that there has been sexual activity in this area!
Woman: (silence)
Crazy man (under breath): Lazy pig.
Parking Garage
Tucson, Arizona
Also the Story Behind the KFC Double Down Sandwich
Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
…Grandma.
Ghetto lady on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you better be at work and not out fucking around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talking about, motherfucker! (pause) Bitch, I am making tacos so I gotta get some fucking sour cream. (pause) I said I am making fucking tacos. (pause) Alright, I love you too.
Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: WesAli
And I’m Washing It Down with Laxatives!
Model scout, handing out card to hot tall teen: I know you’re probably modeling already, but take my card anyway.
Shorter teen girl to friend, after scout has left: Fuck you. The only reason he gave you his card instead of me was because I’m eating a cookie. But it’s the only thing I’ve had to eat today!
Starbucks
Studio City, California
Overheard by: Urz
