Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category

Back Up– There Are Jews in Ne­bras­ka?

Hip daugh­ter: Mom, is that the same guy?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daugh­ter: Then why do they sound the ex­act same?
Hip mom: Be­cause they’re Jew­ish.
Hip daugh­ter: Re­al­ly?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daugh­ter (laugh­ing): Oh my god! Mom! That’s…
Hip mom: Don’t quote me on Face­book.

Lin­coln, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by: robert tay­lor

If You Re­quire Fur­ther Ex­pla­na­tion, You Def­i­nite­ly Need to At­tend.

Hot chick: I’m hav­ing a fan­ta­sia par­ty; I made it a face­book event: Are you go­ing to come?
Clue­less girl: Whats a fan­ta­sia par­ty?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks on­ly, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clue­less girl: I don’t get it?
Hot chick: What’s there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clue­less girl: I still don’t get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tup­per­ware par­ty ‑on­ly with dil­dos!

Ot­tawa
On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Make Mine 9 Inch­es!

…And That He Watch­es Ac­cord­ing to Jim??

Col­lege soros­ti­tute: Well, I thought we’d been dat­ing for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Face­book pro­file, and it said “sin­gle.“
Non-slut­ty col­lege friend: You had to use Face­book to…
Col­lege soros­ti­tute: Al­so, did you know he had a kid?

Charleston, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Nud­dles

Let Me Guess– Rain­bow Sher­bert?

Drunk­en girl: I don’t know, Luke, I’m just sick and tired of peo­ple who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sher­bert.
Drunk­en guy: You don’t like sher­bert?
Drunk­en girl: No, I like it… but on­ly with ad­ven­ture.
Drunk­en guy: I want­ed ad­ven­ture. I feel kind of bad, though, that I did­n’t ex­per­i­ment enough.
Drunk­en girl: With what?
Drunk­en guy: With guys. I don’t know, it just has­n’t hap­pened.
Drunk­en girl: Well, don’t rush it. If you let it hap­pen nat­u­ral­ly, it will.
Drunk­en guy: But what if I don’t like it? And say, “No, this is­n’t for me”?
Drunk­en girl: Let’s go eat some­thing.
Drunk­en guy: Sher­bert?
Drunk­en girl: Yep.

Clare­mont, Cal­i­for­nia