Archive for the ‘Iowa’ Category

Ac­tu­al­ly, They’re On­ly Per­fect If She Blows

Blonde: Even though he had al­ready made a trail of hick­ies around my neck, he was ap­par­ent­ly still in the suck­ing mood, be­cause then he stole my lol­lipop!
Friend: That’s so not cool. He’s such a suck-o-holic!
Blonde: Se­ri­ous­ly! I’m be­gin­ning to think there is­n’t any­thing he won’t suck.
Passer­by: Well, then you’re per­fect for each oth­er, be­cause I’ve heard the same thing about you.

Mt. Ver­non, Iowa

Over­heard by: Ab­by

But It Was a Planned In­car­cer­a­tion

Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t be­lieve we are not hang­ing out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re sup­posed to be hang­ing out with me. We nev­er hang out any­more and we are boyfriend and girl­friend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were sup­posed to hang out this past Sat­ur­day and Sun­day but we did­n’t! You were not fuck­ing there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Mutha­fuck­er you were in jail!

Bus
Iowa State Uni­ver­si­ty, Iowa

Over­heard by: Casey