Archive for the ‘Iowa’ Category

Actually, They’re Only Perfect If She Blows

Blonde: Even though he had already made a trail of hickies around my neck, he was apparently still in the sucking mood, because then he stole my lollipop!
Friend: That’s so not cool. He’s such a suck-o-holic!
Blonde: Seriously! I’m beginning to think there isn’t anything he won’t suck.
Passerby: Well, then you’re perfect for each other, because I’ve heard the same thing about you.

Mt. Vernon, Iowa

Overheard by: Abby

Girl Squirrel: Oh No She Didn’t!

Angry chick: Why did God create men? They’re stupid!
Friend: ‘Cause we need their sperm to procreate.
Angry chick: Well, he could’ve just had us fuck squirrels instead. I dunno…
Friend: What?!
Angry chick: Eh… It’s better than the alternative! They’re sooo damn cute!
Friend: Oh, wow.


Overheard by: ewww