Religion teacher to class of girls: And remember girls, always wear a bikini in the shower, because god is always watching you.
Dublin
Ireland
Archive for the ‘Ireland’ Category
…According to Miss Manners.
Girl #1: Oh, I like your jacket.
Girl #2: Thanks, it’s not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, because she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I didn’t tell her she puked on mine. It’s not really cool to bring up stuff people did when they were having a seizure.
Cork
Ireland
Well, Those Little Heads Are Kind of Creepy
Mother to child: You seem to be on a mission today to decapitate my toes.
Crowded LUAS tram
Dublin
Ireland
And a Fun and Flirty One
Girl, returning from holidays in America: So yeah, I got put in actual jail.
Friend: For drinking on the beach?
Girl: Yup, got the orange jumpsuit and all.
Friend: Did you get to keep it?
Girl: I didn’t like to ask, to be honest. Would’ve been a savage souvenir, though.
UCC Campus
Ireland
But I’m Practicing for My Wedding Night!
Father shouting out of house: Jacinta! Get off that cow! You’ll ruin your communion dress!
Limerick
Ireland
Three If He Bites You
Man holding nose picking child: Fiver to hug the child! Just a fiver, a fiver to cuddle the child!
Belfast
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: I’ll give you £2!
I See Rich People
Mourner at funeral: Tut, one of the undertakers left his jacket on that gravestone.
Son of deceased man: We should check it for money… (whispering) Ghost money!
Graveyard
Cork
Ireland
Today on All My Cookies
Teen to friend: I don’t care how many time you watch Sesame Street, it is not a soap opera.
Wicklow
Ireland
Well, I’m Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet…
New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger’s gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell’s wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?
Train
Dublin
Ireland
Ah, the Irish Imagination
Little boy, as plane starts its descent: Oh my god! What are going to do? We are going to get stuck in the clouds! Please! Somebody help us! Help!
Dublin
Ireland
