Archive for the ‘Italy’ Category

Ten Bucks Says They’re Amer­i­can

Teenage tourist girl to friend: Wan­na play con­nect the dots with my track marks?
Friend: (laughs ner­vous­ly)
Teenage tourist girl: Al­so, if you do that stu­pid thing with your wa­ter glass again, I’m gonna stran­gle you, and throw you in a pit and put a dead dog on top of your grave. Pass me that cheese?


I Re­mem­ber the First Time I Felt the Sting for Force­able In­ter­course and the Warmth Of Dirt…

Tour guide: The vestal vir­gins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer vir­gins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dun­no if that’s any bet­ter.
Lit­tle old Japan­ese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.