Archive for the ‘Jesus’ Category

…As We Learned at Basic Training.

Marine: Don’t waste good Fun Dip! That’s like slapping Jesus in the face!

Camp Leatherneck
Afghanistan

Overheard by: Justus

Like His Penis, Once.

Creepy, vacant-eyed hipster, apropos of nothing: Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/04/messenger.htmlcom

Overheard by: Jen

In the Recurrent Nightmare Of Christianity

Girl, at beginning of Jesus Christ Superstar: Are they going to kill Jesus?
Boyfriend: Well…yes, Sarah. That’s sort of how it works.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

I’m Pretty Sure Bill O’Reilly Claims To

Little girl: Mom, why isn’t my last name ‘Christ’? Why doesn’t everyone have the last name ‘Christ’?

Hill Air Force Base
Utah

Overheard by: Wasn’t his middle name H?

From The Mouths of Babes…

Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That’s Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn’t he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It’s a complicated story and we’ll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.

Mission Santa Barbara, California

Well, As Long As You’ve Thought This Through.

Woman #1: So you’re going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.

Alabama

Overheard by: Matthew Roberts

I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At

Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Maggie

Jesus: No Way! I Am, Like, Twice That Size!

Girl #1: Y’know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Jesus.
Girl #2: Jesus wasn’t Mexican.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still — it’s like I’m having sex with Jesus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pastor about that.

http://www.overheardinvancouver.ca/

Overheard by: katherine