Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!
California
Archive for the ‘Jesus’ Category
Since He Kept Me Up So Late Last Night
Middle-aged woman to another: I said, “Let’s go to church,” and she said, “No, I’m going to stay in bed with Jesus today.”
Outside Mexican restaurant
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: Booksie in Bumfuck
…As We Learned at Basic Training.
Marine: Don’t waste good Fun Dip! That’s like slapping Jesus in the face!
Camp Leatherneck
Afghanistan
Overheard by: Justus
Like His Penis, Once.
Creepy, vacant-eyed hipster, apropos of nothing: Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/04/messenger.htmlcom
Overheard by: Jen
In the Recurrent Nightmare Of Christianity
Girl, at beginning of Jesus Christ Superstar: Are they going to kill Jesus?
Boyfriend: Well…yes, Sarah. That’s sort of how it works.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
I’m Pretty Sure Bill O’Reilly Claims To
Little girl: Mom, why isn’t my last name ‘Christ’? Why doesn’t everyone have the last name ‘Christ’?
Hill Air Force Base
Utah
Overheard by: Wasn’t his middle name H?
From The Mouths of Babes…
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That’s Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn’t he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It’s a complicated story and we’ll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
Well, As Long As You’ve Thought This Through.
Woman #1: So you’re going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.
Alabama
Overheard by: Matthew Roberts
I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At
Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
Jesus: No Way! I Am, Like, Twice That Size!
Girl #1: Y’know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Jesus.
Girl #2: Jesus wasn’t Mexican.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still — it’s like I’m having sex with Jesus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pastor about that.
http://www.overheardinvancouver.ca/
Overheard by: katherine
