College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
Archive for the ‘Jesus’ Category
He’s a Savory Savior
Guy to girl in bar: What did you have, some of that Blood of Christ?
Girl: Yeah!
Guy: Yeah?!
Girl: Yeah! It’s yummy!
Bar
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Jill
Keep Your Friends Close and Your Motherfuckers Even Closer
20-something guy to another: He found Jesus. In the two months I hadn’t seen him, the motherfucker found Jesus.
Swinger’s
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kristin
…I’ve Been Saving That Up All Semester.
Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?
College
Massachusetts
He Eat Brains! … Oh, Wait
Lady with mic: Nothing is more powerful than Jesus! He die; he get up!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/remax.html
Overheard by: lab
In That He Told God Everything
Kid #1: … And so, there is an alpha male among rats–
Kid #2, interrupting: –Jesus Christ was a rat!
City High School
Iowa
Wait ‘Til She Learns She Can’t Go Down On Him.
Dumb blonde: Jesus is such a cockblock!
UCLA
California
How Many Things Are Wrong With This Quote? Show Your Work.
Guy: Ohmigod, you don’t look Jewish, I wouldn’t have known if you didn’t tell me.
Girl: Awww, thanks!
Guy: So what are you doing for the holidays?
Girl: Christmas isn’t about Jesus…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bernadette
In the Recurrent Nightmare Of Christianity
Girl, at beginning of Jesus Christ Superstar: Are they going to kill Jesus?
Boyfriend: Well…yes, Sarah. That’s sort of how it works.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
That’s What You Said About the Guy Who Was Blowing You Yesterday
Policewoman: I seen you beggin’. You don’t know that guy, but he gave you money.
Hobo: Sweetness, sweetness, listen. That’s my brother.
Policewoman: You have a white brother?
Hobo: My brother in Christ.
Urbana, Illinois
