Archive for the ‘Jesus’ Category


20-something American girl, loudly and excitedly, pointing at statue: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! There's a statue of Jesus! They've got a statue of Jesus Christ! Ohmigod!
Unimpressed 20-something Greek girl: That's a statue of Zeus. (slight pause) You fucking retard. National Archaeological Museum
Greece Overheard by: Bleep

Way to Ruin the Moment

Middle-aged woman: My wedding ring from my first marriage has new meaning now.
Friend: What's that?
Middle-aged woman: When I lost all that weight and it didn't fit anymore, I took it as a sign to divorce the bastard and marry Jesus Christ.
Friend: Why don't you just wear it on your toe instead? Overheard by: good lord.

Which Is Why I Have This Black Eye

(goth girl walks by two high school girls)
Girl #1: What is that?!
Girl #2: She's a goth.
Girl #1: Whats a goth?
Girl #2: You know, people who wear black and lots of makeup and listen to sad music.
Girl #1: Ohhhh, that's what they're called. I just call them people who need Jesus. Albany, New York

Jesus: No Way! I Am, Like, Twice That Size!

Girl #1: Y’know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Jesus.
Girl #2: Jesus wasn’t Mexican.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still — it’s like I’m having sex with Jesus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pastor about that. Overheard by: katherine