In the Re­cur­rent Night­mare Of Chris­tian­i­ty

Girl, at be­gin­ning of Je­sus Christ Su­per­star: Are they go­ing to kill Je­sus?
Boyfriend: Well…yes, Sarah. That’s sort of how it works.

Jer­sey City, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Adam Nathan

That’s What You Said About the Guy Who Was Blow­ing You Yes­ter­day

Po­lice­woman: I seen you beg­gin’. You don’t know that guy, but he gave you mon­ey.
Hobo: Sweet­ness, sweet­ness, lis­ten. That’s my broth­er.
Po­lice­woman: You have a white broth­er?
Hobo: My broth­er in Christ.

Ur­bana, Illi­nois

A Re­al Sex God

Lit­er­a­ture teacher: So what the Eu­ro­peans did was take the de­scrip­tion of Je­sus from the texts and made their im­ages of him Cau­casian so as to be more re­lat­able to those they were teach­ing to.
Girl of ques­tion­able lit­er­a­cy: Eu­ro­pean Je­sus was hot.

Delta Sec­ondary School
Lad­ner, British Co­lum­bia
Cana­dia

The Per­il Of Hav­ing Ac­cess to Un­lim­it­ed Loaves and Fish­es

Irate woman, com­ment­ing on de­pic­tion of Je­sus at the Side­walk Art Fes­ti­val: He was so fat I could­n’t even fo­cus on the fact he was sup­posed to be Je­sus.

Sa­van­nah, Geor­gia

If He’s the Re­al Deal, He’ll For­give Me

Dude #1: Dude, did you just call Je­sus a fag?
Dude #2: I did.

Billings, Mon­tana

Over­heard by: he re­al­ly did

I Fig­ure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Some­thing Nice to Look At

Man: I’m giv­ing up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that be­cause Je­sus Christ died for your sins, or be­cause you’re con­cerned with your fig­ure?

Star­bucks
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Mag­gie

You Sure Those Were Ju­das’s Last Words?

Pro­fes­sor: And he’s like, “Je­sus, I wish I was pa­gan!”

Memo­r­i­al Uni­ver­si­ty
New­found­land
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Mel

The Aro­ma Was Strange­ly Heav­en­ly

Guy: Je­sus puked in your car?

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/06/last-supper.html

Over­heard by: rich

Well He Did Have Un­lim­it­ed Ac­cess to Food

Teen boy: Look! There’s that pink car with the fat la­dy again!
Teen girl: She’s every­where! She must be Je­sus!

Athens, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Ma­teo

Tonight on Keep­ing Up With the Ju­dashi­ans

Teeny­bop­per #1: So I haven’t had my pe­ri­od in like six weeks!
Teeny­bop­per #2: Girl, that means you must be preg­nant!
Teeny­bop­per #1: No, cuz then I’d have to be, like, a fe­male Je­sus!

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts