[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?
Great Escape Theater
Illinois
Overheard by: The Surly Usher
Archive for the ‘Jesus’ Category
A Nun Wouldn’t Marry Some Prick, Honey
Little girl, pointing to picture of Jesus on card: Who’s that?
Babysitter: Well, that’s Jesus.
Little girl: Oh… He looks like a nice guy.
Bellevue, Washington
I Guess I Never Really Thought of Simba in Those Terms
Girl #1: Even when I was a little kid I knew it was Christian propaganda. I was like, “Hey, this lion is Jesus!“
Girl #2: That was great, say it again.
Girl #1: This lion is Jesus!
AMC Century City
Weirdest. Relay Race. Ever
Girl in car: Well, I guess Jesus is just going to have to go in between my legs.
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: Chez
Why Some Churches Have Ejector Pews
Little girl to priest: Why is it called ‘Good Friday’ if that’s when they killed Jesus?
Homestead, Florida
And Don’t Get Me Started on the Blood, Dawg
Pastor, placing a piece of bread in guy’s hand: The body of Christ, given to you.
Teen girl, just in earshot: The body be stale, yo.
Teen girl’s friend: I hear ya.
St. Jude’s Church
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Feebriel
Mmm, Sacrilicious
Stoner: That’s like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
You’re Not Sure What to Bite Off First
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Taught Me the “White Elephant”
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
He’s a Savory Savior
Guy to girl in bar: What did you have, some of that Blood of Christ?
Girl: Yeah!
Guy: Yeah?!
Girl: Yeah! It’s yummy!
Bar
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Jill
