Archive for the ‘Jobs & Careers’ Category

And Get That Han­nah Mon­tana Ring­tone I’ve Been Want­i­ng

Hip­ster boy: So, are you do­ing that post-bac pre-med thing?
Hip­ster girl: I dunno…I don’t re­al­ly know what I wan­na do.
Hip­ster boy: Re­al­ly, you don’t wan­na do med­i­cine any­more?
Hip­ster girl: I dun­no, I wish I could like, win the lot­tery. Then I’d go to like, Ghana, and just save peo­ple.

NYU El­e­va­tor

When You Can Take the Hand­i­capped Kid’s Scis­sors Away, Grasshop­per…

Bim­bette: … You, like, learn to flip peo­ple on the mat. My mom knows how to do that. She works with re­tard­ed kids and they, like, have come at her with scis­sors and tried to cut her throat be­fore.
Barista: That does­n’t sound like a job I’d want to have.
Bim­bette: No, she loves it.

Gaithers­burg, Mary­land

Over­heard by: I just want my mocha, please

I’ll Stick to My Pla­cen­ta Face-Cream, Thank You Very Much

Male wed­ding-go­er to fe­male wed­ding-go­er: Oh, you guys work here? Ex­cel­lent! My sis­ter’s hus­band, oh, I mean my broth­er-in-law, sells se­men. Bull se­men.

Over­heard by: best pick-up line ever