Archive for the ‘K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ Category

Yet You Won’t Swal­low Your Hus­band’s Se­men?

Mid­dle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That’s your pee. That’s your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Wom­an’s friend: It’s on your shirt now.
Mid­dle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It’s okay, it’s just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It’s just pee. Come, gimme kiss­es, stink-stink.
Wom­an’s friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Mid­dle-aged woman, hiss­ing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Star­bucks
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Pips

Should Have Got­ten It with Ex­tra But­ter

Girl #1: I dare you to make out with that piece of pop­corn. [Friend makes out with popcorn.]Girl #2: I make out with my mir­ror all the time.
Girl #1: Oh, hon­ey, that’s just sad.
Make­out girl: My lips feel dry…

Hern­don Fes­ti­val
Hern­don, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Car­ly

Pick­ings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa

Col­lege girl #1: So I met up with Je­re­my last night.
Col­lege girl #2: Ah, the one with the small pe­nis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Je­re­my’s the bad kiss­er, right?
Col­lege girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Cof­fee shop
Iowa City, Iowa