Archive for the ‘K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ Category

Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?

Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Pips

Should Have Gotten It with Extra Butter

Girl #1: I dare you to make out with that piece of popcorn. [Friend makes out with popcorn.]Girl #2: I make out with my mirror all the time.
Girl #1: Oh, honey, that’s just sad.
Makeout girl: My lips feel dry…

Herndon Festival
Herndon, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly