Nine-year-old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/mom-im-nine-and-even-i-know-that-sounds.html
Overheard by: academia
Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category
…Bowser
Little boy to grandma: Once, when I was camping, I sat on my biscuits, then I put my biscuits on a rock and ate them like a dog.
Grandma: Oh, uh… That’s nice…
Australia
I Hunger
Six-year-old boy to uncle about to leave for a trip: Bring me a woman!
Simi Valley, California
…But Before I Start to Spoil
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don’t wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I’m like “no bitch, I don’t even have a license yet.” We’re thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
They Finally Settled on the Nike Swish
Teenage guy to another: Didn’t they want to name their kid something weird, like “question mark?”
Brighton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: L‑Dawg
…Animal Cracker Coming Up
Kid: (burps loudly)
Mom: What was that?
Kid: I think it was a lion.
Little Leage Game
Ft. Worth, Texas
Overheard by: DeeDon
How Mrs. Bisbee Made the ‘Naughty’ List
Mom: I don’t know what I should get for him. He likes video games and that kind of stuff. I got him a GameCube last year and he loves it.
Five-year-old child (looks away from game display, shocked): But you told me Santa got me the GameCube!
Best Buy
Seattle, Washington
Or an Etch-a-Sketch Masterpiece.
Guy: So how’s it going with Tom?
Girl: Good. He’s stuck with me.
Guy: You’re like a virus.
Girl: No, I’m more like something good you can’t shake. Like a baby.
Derby, Connecticut
When Semesters and Trimesters Conflict
Bleached blonde sorority chick: If she doesn’t abort it, we’re totally throwing her a baby shower!
University
Midwest
Overheard by: GDI
What About Those Three Other Kids?
Six-year-old girl: Are you doing your job?
Lifeguard: Are you drowning?
Six-year-old girl: No.
Lifeguard: Then I’m doing my job.
Kiddie Pool
Great Neck, New York
