Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

You Can Be Arrested for Saying That Sort of Thing at a Michigan Wal-Mart

Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: What?
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: No, you don’t.

Wal-Mart
Grand Blanc, Michigan

Well, As Long As You’ve Thought This Through.

Woman #1: So you’re going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.

Alabama

Overheard by: Matthew Roberts

You Know Somebody’s Playing “Magic: the Gathering”

Frazzled mother: At Michigan State they don’t even have parties. They’re not going to want you at a party. You are not going to a party. There is no chance.
Hopeful twelve-year-old boy: Oh, there’s a chance.

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Cameron

But If I Did, I’d Advise You to Go with the Heart-Shaped Nipple Clamps

Dad to son, passing Valentine’s Day t‑shirt display: These are kind of nice for your mom, no?
Son: It’s for mom, what do I care?

City Center Mall
White Plains, New York

Overheard by: Nathan

Say Bye-Bye to the ’90s, Mom

Mom: But dear, you must like swing music. It’s simply infectious!
Five-year-old daughter: Mom, I do not like swing music.

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: I don’t like swing music either

Wouldn’t Going Potty First Be Most Important?

Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on… That’s the most important thing.

Puyallup, Washington

Overheard by: in the next stall…

Your Birthday’s Not for Another Two Weeks

Dad: Why are you wearing your sunglasses inside?
Nine-year-old boy: I don’t know… ‘Cause I feel like it.
Dad: Well, take them off. You’re not a gangster, pimp, or high… yet.

Chinook Theatre
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Hannah

For the Last Time, You’re Not Getting My American Express Card

Five-year-old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five-year-old boy: I need more credit. You don’t give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Laughing