Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Just Start Fires

Three-year-old girl: Can I open this?
Dad: No. There are two hundred and fifty matches in there, and they’re going to fall all over the place.
Three-year-old girl: But I promise I won’t eat them.

Harvest Co-Op
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Even Mothers Don't Really Know Where Babies Come From

60-something woman: He has always been a quiet person. He's been that way for as long as I have know him, and I have known him since he was a little boy.
Car salesman: Yeah. Wait, didn't you give birth to him?
Woman: I guess I have known him pretty much from the beginning, then. Weird.

Car Dealership
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: stephen

Sigh. For the Last Time, I Could Never Date a Top.

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean “friend that's a girl.” I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Isn't he a little young…?