Girl to boyfriend: Why’d you go and tell all the guys on the fifth floor that I have some crazy fetish with lubricating foods?
Guy: I didn’t say anything!
Girl: Well, they were talking about the Nutella.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laura G.
Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Woman to man: She fucked the lobster?
Cincinnati, Ohio
Lesbian to girlfriend: … That was back when I was dating this pharmacist and my sister-in-law decided to start this rumor that both of us were into this thing… [makes subtle fisting motion].
Elevator, Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Guy in leather to another: I remember when I was a slave…
Dore Alley
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Out taking photos
Black chick: I’m sorry — I don’t have relations with inanimate objects!
Black guy: A rock is not inanimate…
Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Iniego Strangelove
Professor: What do you think my fantasy is?
Student: Armpit sex… in a park. No, wait. Menage a trois. All-male in a… ballroom?
Godfrey, Illinois
Old guy to friend: He got a new girl who works in the sex industry… and you know his fantasy has always been two women. I told him it’d never happen, but apparently it did. His girl has a friend who was willing to play along…
Holland, Michigan
Drunk girl: I want to find a really kinky man tonight and shit on his chest.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/150318.html
Confused guy on cell: What I don’t get is, what part of the country are there people like this? I mean, I draw the line at spitting in someone’s asshole!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: whylime
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
