Archive for the ‘Leisure’ Category

But It Was a Planned In­car­cer­a­tion

Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t be­lieve we are not hang­ing out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re sup­posed to be hang­ing out with me. We nev­er hang out any­more and we are boyfriend and girl­friend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were sup­posed to hang out this past Sat­ur­day and Sun­day but we did­n’t! You were not fuck­ing there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Mutha­fuck­er you were in jail!

Bus
Iowa State Uni­ver­si­ty, Iowa

Over­heard by: Casey

If You Re­quire Fur­ther Ex­pla­na­tion, You Def­i­nite­ly Need to At­tend.

Hot chick: I’m hav­ing a fan­ta­sia par­ty; I made it a face­book event: Are you go­ing to come?
Clue­less girl: Whats a fan­ta­sia par­ty?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks on­ly, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clue­less girl: I don’t get it?
Hot chick: What’s there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clue­less girl: I still don’t get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tup­per­ware par­ty ‑on­ly with dil­dos!

Ot­tawa
On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Make Mine 9 Inch­es!

What?

Fa­ther to son, on golf course: Yeah, while you were away I though about hir­ing some­one to rape me.
Son: What?
Fa­ther: It’s sup­posed to re­al­ly im­prove your golf swing!

Ea­gle, Col­orado