Archive for the ‘Lies’ Category

…By Lying

Guy #1: I was supposed to interview my grandma for my sociology project, but I didn’t. I’m going to have to like, make up her life right now.
Guy #2: Why didn’t you interview her?
Guy #1: Well, she lives in Oregon, and you know, the time change…
Guy #2: Dude, there’s no time change from here to Oregon.
Guy #1: I know that, shut up! I’m trying to make myself feel better.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Beatrice

And Put Some Underpants on, Wouldya?

Santa: Remember, you have to be very good so I can bring you lots of presents.
Little girl: I have been! I have been!
Santa: I came by your house the other day. Did you know that?
Little girl: Really?! Wow!
Santa: I looked in your window, and I saw lots of messy toys on your floor. And clothes.
Little girl, crying: I was just going to get a glass of water and then go back to clean them up, I promise!
Santa: Whatever.

Park Plaza Mall
Little Rock, Arkansas

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott