Archive for the ‘Lies’ Category

Wait– What Ex­act­ly Are You Us­ing As a Vol­ley­ball?

Mom to three-year-old son un­der the ta­ble: Whatcha’ doin’ un­der there, bud­dy?
Three-year-old son: Play­ing vol­ley­ball.
Dad: Vol­ley­ball? Smells like you’re poop­ing your pants.
Three-year-old son, gig­gling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sis­ter to friend: See, I told you it was­n’t the food.

Los Tres Ami­gos Mex­i­can Restau­rant

Over­heard by: Scott

Like a Uni­ver­si­ty Pro­fes­sor Ever Has to Pay for It

Sta­tis­tics pro­fes­sor: So let’s say we ask a ran­dom ques­tion, such as “have you had un­pro­tect­ed sex with a pros­ti­tute in the last week?”.
(class laughs)
Sta­tis­tics pro­fes­sor: Most peo­ple would an­swer “no.” In­clud­ing my­self. I’ll leave it up to you to de­cide if that’s the truth or not.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Guelph

Over­heard by: Danielle