Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn’t remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn’t remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”
Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!
Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: waiting in line
Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy… There was blood everywhere.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Teen to another: I got so excited, I have wet butt syndrome!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: Kristen
Angry security guard lady: Hey! There’s no smoking out here!
Smoker guy #1, wearing dark shades and not sorry: Sorry, we didn’t know.
Angry security guard lady: Well, there’s a sign right next to you.
Smoker guy #2, wearing dark shades: We’re blind — that’s why we’re at the Eye Center.
Security guard lady, laughing loudly: Hahaha! Well, okay!
Kellogg Eye Center
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Ewan Macpherson
Teen girl: I have a fever.
Teen boy: Oh, no! Any vomiting?
Teen girl: Not yet.
Teen boy: Damn!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Greg
Little girl #1 (holding a Patrick Star toy): Mommy, mommy! Can I get this?
Scary mom: No.
Little girl #1: Why?
Scary mom: Because last time we bought one of those was the day you had your seizure.
Little girl #1 (running around the store and flapping her arms): My seizure, my seizure!
Little girl #2 (also running and flapping): Your seizure, your seizure!
Kings Island, Ohio
Drugstore cashier to another: Are the firemen here to shop? Or is someone down again?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: jamjam
Black 20-something guy to friend: Sir Mix-a-Lot killed more black people in the 90s than heart disease and Aids combined.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: I know his pain
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist