Angry security guard lady: Hey! There’s no smoking out here!
Smoker guy #1, wearing dark shades and not sorry: Sorry, we didn’t know.
Angry security guard lady: Well, there’s a sign right next to you.
Smoker guy #2, wearing dark shades: We’re blind — that’s why we’re at the Eye Center.
Security guard lady, laughing loudly: Hahaha! Well, okay!
Kellogg Eye Center
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Ewan Macpherson
Teen girl: I have a fever.
Teen boy: Oh, no! Any vomiting?
Teen girl: Not yet.
Teen boy: Damn!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Greg
Little girl #1 (holding a Patrick Star toy): Mommy, mommy! Can I get this?
Scary mom: No.
Little girl #1: Why?
Scary mom: Because last time we bought one of those was the day you had your seizure.
Little girl #1 (running around the store and flapping her arms): My seizure, my seizure!
Little girl #2 (also running and flapping): Your seizure, your seizure!
Kings Island, Ohio
Drugstore cashier to another: Are the firemen here to shop? Or is someone down again?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: jamjam
Black 20-something guy to friend: Sir Mix-a-Lot killed more black people in the 90s than heart disease and Aids combined.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: I know his pain
Guy #1, shocked and angry: Dude, she’s autistic!
Guy #2: Yeah! But she’s a full functioning autistic, so fuck you for judging.
Ikea
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Ferdinand
Professor: Do we know if marijuana has any long-term effects?
Male student: Ball cancer.
Western Michigan University
Overheard by: H
British girl: That being said, I don’t worry about hiccups much, but I do worry about life a lot.
United Flight
Yerevan
Armenia
Guy to girl selling breast cancer t‑shirts: I’ll do it later — the kids with cancer will still have cancer.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/update-39.html/
Overheard by: Mike
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah, or I’m gonna get more sicker!
Redneck friend: There’s no such thing as “more sicker.” It’s a double negative.
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah! Double sicker!
Oneonta, New York
Overheard by: Caroline
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
