Archive for the ‘Maladies’ Category

…More Gela­to?

Over­ly chat­ty mid­dle-aged guy on date: Doc­tors love giv­ing women a hys­terec­to­my. They will find any rea­son to give a woman a hys­terec­to­my. Like, we’re al­ready up there, might as well scoop it on out now.

Ital­ian Restau­rant
High­land, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: well„,there goes my ap­petite.

It’s a Twofer!

Child run­ning up es­ca­la­tor: I’m win­ning again!
Mom, huff­ing and puff­ing on oth­er es­ca­la­tor: Yeah, well, I’m hav­ing a stroke, so…

Cleve­land Park Metro sta­tion
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Un­til She Found a Mar­ket for the Pho­tos on the In­ter­net

Pro­fes­sor: Sor­ry if you’ve been ex­cit­ed to see how you did on your es­says, but I did­n’t get a chance to mark them over Christ­mas break.
Class: [Groans.]Professor: Well, my tes­ti­cles swelled to the size of grape­fruit over the hol­i­day break, so don’t think you’re the on­ly ones dis­ap­point­ed. My wife was­n’t thrilled, ei­ther.

York Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: de­cid­ing­whether­to­laugh­ornot