Angry woman on cell: I want the fucking muffins!
Galleria Mall
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Angry woman on cell: I want the fucking muffins!
Galleria Mall
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Homely housewife: And she said, “are you going to blot it?” and I said, “of course, that’s why I collect napkins.”
Fayette Mall
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: verticalQ
Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I’m not a sugar-daddy, am I?
Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California
Guy to girlfriend: If I go to jail for you, you better get your tits done.
Viewmont Mall
Dickson City, Pennsylvania
Girl at mall: Did I tell you about traumatizing the Amish family?
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: Frito Bandito
Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That’s a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!
Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas
Overheard by: I love Mommy too
Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!
National Mall
Washington, DC
Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people’s butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!
Mall
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: I saw her later stand up…
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist