Guy to girlfriend: If I go to jail for you, you better get your tits done.
Viewmont Mall
Dickson City, Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Malls’ Category
My Explanation of “Airtight” Was Too Much for Them
Girl at mall: Did I tell you about traumatizing the Amish family?
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: Frito Bandito
…Once I Ran Out of Poop
Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Buy Me a Pony and I'll Throw in the Windshield
Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!
Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas
Overheard by: I love Mommy too
I've Lost 10 Pounds Since I Started Sending Myself to Bed Without Supper!
Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!
National Mall
Washington, DC
Now at Least Describe the Butts to Me, Winifred.
Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people's butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!
Mall
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: I saw her later stand up…
For a Second I Thought You Were Talking About Our Key-Parties
Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?”
Mom: Uh…what's “pop and switch?”
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That's scary…
JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky
Overheard by: Dohiyi
These People Are Everywhere
Thugette: I ain’t talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question — about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!
Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia
Why “Family Vacation” Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Why You're Not Supposed to Return to the Scene Of a Crime
Little girl to store employee: Do you remember us?
Employee: Yes, of course I do.
Little girl: Oh, no! Run away! He remembers us!
Mission Viejo Mall
Mission Viejo, California