Girl at mall: Did I tell you about traumatizing the Amish family?
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: Frito Bandito
Archive for the ‘Malls’ Category
…Once I Ran Out of Poop
Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Buy Me a Pony and I’ll Throw in the Windshield
Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That’s a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!
Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas
Overheard by: I love Mommy too
I’ve Lost 10 Pounds Since I Started Sending Myself to Bed Without Supper!
Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!
National Mall
Washington, DC
Now at Least Describe the Butts to Me, Winifred.
Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people’s butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!
Mall
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: I saw her later stand up…
For a Second I Thought You Were Talking About Our Key-Parties
Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?“
Mom: Uh…what’s “pop and switch?“
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That’s scary…
JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky
Overheard by: Dohiyi
These People Are Everywhere
Thugette: I ain’t talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question — about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!
Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia
Why “Family Vacation” Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That’s the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It’ll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Why You’re Not Supposed to Return to the Scene Of a Crime
Little girl to store employee: Do you remember us?
Employee: Yes, of course I do.
Little girl: Oh, no! Run away! He remembers us!
Mission Viejo Mall
Mission Viejo, California
Dad Won’t Let Me
Girl #1: Oh, hey! I’m wearing a purple bra today!
Girl #2: Why is that a surprise? Don’t you dress yourself?
Fitting Rooms
Morwell Shopping Centre
Australia
Overheard by: Ann
