White hipster to others: I've noticed the black kids in Harlem are starting to wear skinny jeans and skateboard. It's great… 'cause it's, like, cool to be smart again.
Massachussetts
Archive for the ‘Massachusetts’ Category
And Did They Have to Name It “The Meow Clinic”?
20-something woman #1: Oh look, it's a hospital for cats.
20-something woman #2: Yeah, I know. Every time someone goes in there, I judge them like, “ew, a cat person!”
Brookline, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cat Person
Leave It to the Ivy Leaguers to Really Get to the Crux of an Issue
Frat boy: That's all I want, a girl from, like, some poor village in southern Italy, doesn't speak a fuckin' *word* of English, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you really like gnocci?
Yale Berkeley College Dining Hall
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Most Emmy Winners Would've Preferred That Too
Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Or Breast Display Units
Manly hipster #1: She's been really into these half sweater type things lately.
Manly hipster #2: Yeah, they're called “shrugs”.
TOAD
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Being Able to Pee in a Cup Is the Whole Test, Right?
Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test
And I'm Finished with the Scavenger Hunt
Guy on cell: Now I just need to get jumped.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not the best place to shout that out
Plus, That’s Chicken
20-something guy, about his sushi: This takes me back to when I used to live in Japan.
Brunette: When did you ever live there?
20-something guy: No, I mean in my past life.
Brunette: What makes you think you were Japanese?
20-something guy: Because ever since I was little I have always loved seafood.
Brunette: … Maybe you were a fish.
20-something guy: Not cool.
Sushi restaurant
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wallflower
Are There No Gay Cougars?
Fratty-looking queer #1: I need some lip balm. My lips feel all dried up, like…old fruit.
Fratty looking queer #2: You are an old fruit. (pause) No, really, you're 25, which means you're almost 30, which means you're almost dead.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: gymbo
…I've Been Saving That Up All Semester.
Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?
College
Massachusetts