Conductor over loudspeaker: Diana, I have your clothes… Diana, the head conductor has your clothes.
MBTA Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts
Conductor over loudspeaker: Diana, I have your clothes… Diana, the head conductor has your clothes.
MBTA Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl #1: I have to gloat a little. Who’s the perv now, bitches?
Girl #2: Still us.
Girl #1: Well, duh, still us. But now them, too!
Girl #2: Totally.
Maynard, Massachusetts
Girl: It was like a porno, but with a plot!
University of Massachusetts
Overheard by: Robin
Young suit #1: Oh, yeah, I start my steroids tomorrow.
Young suit #2: Oh, that’s good. I need to do that.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don’t squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don’t agree with the professor, you’re wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I’ll take a cookie!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Philosophy professor: After all, is it okay to go pee out in the open in a public place like a park?
Girl: Wait, well… Like, when?
Boston College
Massachusetts
Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ariel
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Get your hand out of your crotch!
Girl #2: It’s not in my crotch!
Girl #1: Yeah, well it’s in my way!
Girl #2: (laughs)
Girl #1: No, no, no, no! Wait! No!
Boston, Massachusetts
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist