Girl on cell: ’cause I kinda cut off my balls…
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: she didn’t look trannyish
Archive for the ‘Massachusetts’ Category
I Don’t Care If You Are My Grandma.
Man on cell: What? You calling me fat pussy? I will punch you in the face!
Boston, Massachusetts
If You’ve Ever Waited Weeks for Grades, You’ll Understand the Applause
Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
I Am So Through with Jesus
Haggard drunk woman to group of drunk men: He says he loves me but won’t even buy me a cupcake!
Boston, Massachusetts
If Moon Is Full for More Than Four Hours, Consult a Physician
Ninth grade English teacher: I mean, it isn’t just like, ‘Wee, the man in the moon is gettin’ laid!’
Newton North High School
Newton, Massachusetts
An Unexpected Artifact Of Our Romantic Interlude
Girl #1: My uterus! Oh god, my uterus!
Girl #2: My god, the raptor is going into my uterus.
Dining Commons, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Beth
Kindly Explain Further.
Girl: My aunt’s a kindergarten teacher, so she knows a lot of non-fags.
Wellesley College
Wellesley, Massachusetts
Because We’ve Dipped Their Stingers in Smallpox
Library staff: Ladies and gentlemen, Mugar Library is closing in five minutes. However, the first and second floor will be open for all-night studying purposes. If you are on the third, fourth, fifth or sixth floors you must relocate or leave immediately. We are releasing the killer bees. I hope you’ve been vaccinated.
Boston University Library
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Burkey
Though As a History Tutor, She’s Subpar
Asian student on cell: Yeah, yeah. He know her long time. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah. She better than stripper.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
The Limbo Is Not a Man’s Game, Son.
Mother to little boy: Stop that! You’re gonna hurt your scrotum!
Boston, Massachusetts
