The Fe­male Equiv­a­lent Of, “Do You Have Any Balls?”

Ghet­to chick scream­ing at oth­er: Do you de­serve your ovaries? I parked your car for you, bitch!

Porter Square
Somerville, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: well, do you?

That’s What Every­one Says. And Every­one Lies.

Woman: I’d rather do the kid­nap­ping than be kid­napped.
Man, snort­ing in dis­be­lief: Oh, puh-lease!

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: MarthaQ

What Girl Would­n’t Want a Liq­uid-Met­al Lover?

Chick #1 watch­ing Ter­mi­na­tor II: The bad guy in this is so hot…
Chick #2: To­tal­ly. In, like, a blond, blue-eyed, Nazi S‑and‑M porn kind of way.
Chick #1: So hot…
Chick #2’s boyfriend: What the fuck is wrong with you two?!

Har­vard Uni­ver­si­ty
Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts

A Pub­lic Ser­vice Warn­ing for All Ed­u­ca­tion Ma­jors at Smith

Ed­u­ca­tion pro­fes­sor: Marsh­mal­lows are not alive… are they?

Smith Col­lege
Northamp­ton, Mass­a­chu­setts

Just As Long As I Get the Oblig­a­tory Milk­bone

Girl: Well, the sad thing is I’m gonna have to treat you like Mor­gan when she does­n’t want to take her ear in­fec­tion pills.

Smith Col­lege
Northamp­ton, Mass­a­chu­setts

And Pos­si­bly a Few Sex Hats

Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.

H&M
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: XT

I’ve Nev­er Felt So Alive!

Male pro­fes­sor, in a very girly voice: Aaaah­hh! I’m be­ing tram­pled by sea hors­es.

UMass
Amherst, Mass­a­chu­setts

Just a Large-Mouthed Bass with the Abil­i­ty to Keep a Tune

Teen girl #1: Steven Tyler is def­i­nite­ly in the Rolling Stones.
Teen girl #2: Gir­rrl, you crazy! Was­n’t he in the Back­street Boys?
Teen girl #1, af­ter long pause: I don’t even think there is any­one named Steven Tyler.

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: steven tyler is def­i­nite­ly the front­man for AERO­SMITH.

But I Can

Ug­ly girl: So, what if I, like, texted him and said, ‘If you come out with us, I’ll have sex with you’?
Friend: You can’t do that.

Quin­cy Mar­ket bath­room
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Care

I Won’t Make That Mis­take Twice!

Four-year-old: Mom­my? When are you go­ing to mar­ry Dad­dy?
Mom: Shhh…

Trad­er Joe’s
Brook­line, Mass­a­chu­setts