Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ariel
Archive for the ‘Massachusetts’ Category
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Going for Drinks After Work Can Be a Minefield
Girl #1: Get your hand out of your crotch!
Girl #2: It’s not in my crotch!
Girl #1: Yeah, well it’s in my way!
Girl #2: (laughs)
Girl #1: No, no, no, no! Wait! No!
Boston, Massachusetts
Ironically, That’s When I Realized We Were Lost.
Girl: So then she told me her sister decided to major in geography. I had to pull over to the side of the road because I was laughing so hard.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: English Major
I’m Just Trying to Understand Jerry Falwell’s Appeal
Chick walking with a bunch of guys: Wait, did he have a scrotum chin?
Allston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mt
Translation: Top That, Motherfucker!
Amherst girl to Dartmouth guy, discussing Hillel dinners at Harvard: I turned down a position at Massachusetts General Hospital because they don’t have squash courts.
Commuter Rail Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Tonight, on No-Context Theatre…
Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who’s Phyllis?
Guy #2: She’s this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sunny
… Motherfucker.
20-ish mom to man: So what? I mean, I’m miserable, and I still manage to be perky and upbeat…
Boston, Massachusetts
Don’t Think About This Too Long, Dear Reader
Loud girl: Would you rather have cheese or oral sex?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emily
Instead of Just Doing It Now While I Grade Papers
Professor: Please write legibly. If I had wanted to go blind, I would have masturbated to excess as a child.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
