Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can’t fuck’em, what’s the point?
Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job
Archive for the ‘Mental illnesses’ Category
She Keeps a Cyanide One in Her Desk for Emergencies
Student: What are you eating?
Teacher: My bracelet… it’s made of anti-depressants.
Tucson, Arizona
e e cummings Would Go on to Fame and Fortune
Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that’s what we need…
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he’s my hero.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
If You’ve Never Been Forced to Go to Bible Camp, You Can’t Judge.
Woman to friend: And her therapist is saying she doesn’t need any more therapy sessions. I mean, she was cutting herself at camp a only month ago!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/355805033/shell-be-perfect-for-a-band.html
Overheard by: not appropriate in the hardware store
…Which Is Also What Tom Said.
Girl #1: So what are we looking for here?
Girl #2, distractedly: A birthday card for my boyfriend Tom*. (pauses) I mean…
Girl #1: Oh my god, you totally just called your best friend your boyfriend! If that’s not a huge Freudian slip, I don’t know what is.
Girl #2: Freud can suck my dick!
Culpeper, Virginia
Overheard by: freudian follower
But Enough About Me– What Are Your Interests?
Girl: I really like playing with grass…also, I think I’m going to crazy one day.
John Mayer Concert
Holmdel, New Jersey
That’s a Funny Name for a Ghost!
Crazy guy: Hey, June*! Do you know that my cabinets keep opening and closing by themselves?
June*: Well, do you believe in ghosts?
Crazy guy: Yes, I do!
June*: Maybe your place is haunted, and the ghosts just want to say hello.
Crazy guy, after thinking a while: No, I think it’s just my schizophrenia.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Scooby and the Gang Stage an Intervention for Velma
Father: Sweetie, your affection for the dog is causing you to hallucinate.
Empress Pavillion
Chinatown, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
It’s No Country for Old Women, Either
Middle aged woman to another: It’s not the hot flashes that are so bad… It’s the depression.
BeauJo’s
Ft. Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: always listening
When Aesop Tried Peyote
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you’ve clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She’s quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it’s not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
