Woman on phone: Okay, so go past the monkey and we’ll be right here!
Harrison, Michigan
Archive for the ‘Michigan’ Category
If She Needs to Have That Many Of Them, Maybe She Shouldn’t Stop?
Sorority girl: Well, she should stop having abortions then!
University of Michigan
We Will Be Coming around Shortly with Beverages and Compatibility Questionnaires
Boarding attendant at gate: At this time, you may put away your photo IDs… Unless, of course, you are exceptionally attractive. In that case, my name is Jason, I’m a Virgo, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.
Detroit Metro Airport
Michigan
Overheard by: orange
Diversity Provides a Wide Variety of Scary
Chick: It wasn’t, like, black people-scary. It was, like, Appalachian-scary. I didn’t feel like I was going to be shot, I felt like I was going to be eaten.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
You Can Be Arrested for Saying That Sort of Thing at a Michigan Wal-Mart
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: What?
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: No, you don’t.
Wal-Mart
Grand Blanc, Michigan
You Know Somebody’s Playing “Magic: the Gathering”
Frazzled mother: At Michigan State they don’t even have parties. They’re not going to want you at a party. You are not going to a party. There is no chance.
Hopeful twelve-year-old boy: Oh, there’s a chance.
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Cameron
I’m Thinking It’s the First Clue in My Quest for the Holy Grail
Male student: So there was a hobo on the train and he sat next to me and he was like, “me no wah”. So I was like, “what?” and he just said “me no wah!” so I was really confused and then I realized I had my backpack, so I gave him a pen and a paper and he wrote “m‑e n‑o w‑a-h.” So I was really mad and was like, “dude, that was supposed to clear things up,” but it didn’t.
Female student: Word.
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Overheard by: Kelli
Kids Are Easily Fooled by Short Haircuts and Baritone Voices
Mother holding small child as she sees a girlfriend: Sammi* look! It’s Debbie! Say hi to Debbie!
Small child: Hi, ugly man!
Target
Traverse City, Michigan
They Both Swear They’re Straight
Middle aged man: Hey, Jesse! Wanna wrestle?
Shirtless young man: I’ll wrestle you if you give me a Jägerbomb!
Middle aged man: You better hurry, we’re running out!
Traverse City, Michigan
The 1990’s Called…
Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don’t get a little crazy, then I’m never gonna survive.
Michigan State University
Michigan
Overheard by: sjshock
