Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I’m like, “I’m not writing my freaking thesis here!”
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Archive for the ‘Minnesota’ Category
They Don’t Tell Me to Burn Things! I Swear!
Customer: Hi, I’d like to return these pants.
Store manager: Can I ask why?
Customer: The pants talk.
Store manager: (…)
Customer, frantically: I mean, they pop! They pop!
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I had to return a pair of talking pants once too
Because I Really Need to Work on My Reverse-Cowgirl
Girl on cell: So I learned over the weekend that my parents are swingers. I know, it was so weird! It’s like, okay, so on the weekends you go out and have sex with other people… Yeah… Do we have practice today?
College of Saint Benedict
St. Joseph, Minnesota
Overheard by: Rose
Milkshakes Bring Out the Worst in Him
Little kid #1: No, Daddy would never swear!
Little kid #2: Yeah, he does — when he drinks!
Dairy Queen
Roseau, Minnesota
Overheard by: jo
Get Me Some Of That Time-Travel Pussy
Law student: I can’t wait for the future, man… I’m going to specialize in time travel law!
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Minneapolitan
My Heart Will Fucking Go On, Dudebro.
Jock #1: Yo! I’ve grown accustomed to your face!
Jock #2: Word!
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Can’t You Pull ’em Back Up into Your Abdomen?
Teen boy, jokingly: So, yeah — I was thinking about getting my testicles removed, so that way no one can kick me there anymore.
Teen girl, mortified: No, don’t! You need one to live!
Fairfax, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amused friend
Jeez, Even the Vatican Doesn’t Go That Far
50-something clipboard guy: Excuse me miss, do you have just a couple minutes for campus international?
Girl: Sorry, I don’t believe in other countries.
University of Minnesota
Overheard by: Cornielius
Rain on Your Wedding Day, for Instance, Is Just Good Luck
[At computer lab.]Student #1: Try looking up “irony-”, that might work.
Student #2: Irony isn’t even a word, idiot.
Royalton, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lynn
That’s What You Said About Spiral Notebooks!
Young girl, spraying perfume: These smell yucky. Who actually buys these, Mom?
Mom: Put those down. Those are for prostitutes.
Macy’s
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: ChasingDori
