Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl: Whoa…There’s a band called “Asia”? Mom, is this what I was named after?
Mother: No, honey.
Branson, Missouri
Mom: No, that’s not an appropriate video, either.
14-year-old son: What about this one? It’s Christian. It only has violence in it!
Blockbuster
Liberty, Missouri
Overheard by: blockbuster lurker
Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!
Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier
Ghetto lady on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you better be at work and not out fucking around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talking about, motherfucker! (pause) Bitch, I am making tacos so I gotta get some fucking sour cream. (pause) I said I am making fucking tacos. (pause) Alright, I love you too.
Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: WesAli
Young teenage boy: You owe me.
Young teenage girl: I owe you for what?
Young teenage boy: For sleeping with you for four years!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Abby C.
Girl: So this girl was like: “I want half your pants!”
Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Overheard by: Melissa
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Student: What’s “Nostradamus”? It that just some random, made-up word or something?
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.
St. Louis, Missouri
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
