Girl: So this girl was like: “I want half your pants!”
Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Overheard by: Melissa
Archive for the ‘Missouri’ Category
You’re Not Sure What to Bite Off First
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Like “Melancholy” or “Pterodactyl”?
Student: What’s “Nostradamus”? It that just some random, made-up word or something?
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Mr. Duchovny’s Voicemail Fills Up Fast
Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.
St. Louis, Missouri
I Think You’d Be Surprised
Cute queer #1: Yeah, but aren’t you worried about the sodomy laws around there?
Cute queer #2: No, not really.
Cute queer #1: My god, why not?
Cute queer #2: I don’t think that a fleshlight really counts as sodomy.
Grand Avenue
Saint Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Confused Dyke On The Corner
And That Was the Extent of My “Birds and Bees” Talk
Mom holding two tomatoes stuck together: Look, tomato twins!
Daughter: Oh my god! I love them!
Mom: They look like balls! [Laughs] Boy balls! [Walks away].
Daughter: Oh my god.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
You Think I Should Put on Some Pants?
Drunk guy on cell: Hey, this is Eric*. Just calling to see how you were doing at three in the morning. [To chick passerby] Hey! I saw you tonight at the club!
Angry drunk chick: Get away from me!
Drunk guy on cell, into phone: What the fuck is up with every girl on campus thinking I want to rape them? Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I’m a fucking pervert.
University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Caesar22
How’d You Know?!
Student: I was wondering what my grade is.
Instructor (after consulting grade book): You have 312 points out of 500.
Student: So that’s like, what, a “b?“
Instructor: Are you failing math too?
MCCKC
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: Not failing math
Oh, Ally McBeal, How We’ve Missed You!
Hipster girl to another: I consider myself single, except for the part where I have a boyfriend… so I can’t cheat on him.
St. Louis, Missouri
I Kinda Shake Myself Like a Wet Dog
Little girl: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom!
Mom: Okay, well, I don’t think there is any toilet paper. You’ll have to drip-dry.
Little girl: Okay! I love drip-drying!
St. Louis, Missouri
