Stoner kid #1: I don’t eat anything that used to be alive. Well, except eggs. And hamburger, you know, because of the cows.
Stoner kid #2: And cake!
Stoner kid #1: Yeah, cake.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: The RQ
Archive for the ‘Missouri’ Category
Like I Used to Do with My Raggedy Ann
Chick #1: I hope you never snap and become a serial killer.
Chick #2 (lovingly): Because I’d kill you first!
Chick #1: I know.
Chick #2: And then I’d stuff you… I would stuff you with your clothes so you smell like yourself.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Good Advice!
Necessity Is the Mother of Water-Bottle Bongs
Leader of group of nervous teens: Hey, do you sell rolling papers here… for tobacco?
Convenience store clerk: Sorry, man. We’ve only got ones for pot.
Noland Road
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: snickering customer behind them
Something I’d Much Rather Read About
Drunk girl: You don’t read?!
Guy: No. I think you should live life, not read about it in a book.
Drunk girl, slowly: I find that worse than being fucked up the ass.
Columbia, Missouri
How the Economy Works: Explained
Teen girl #1: Omigawd, I just realized. If we borrowed five dollars from like twenty people, we’d have eighty dollars!
Teen girl #2: Haha, yeah! Wait. (long pause) Yeah, like eighty dollars!
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Had hope for a second, there
Who Doesn’t Like Bill Murray?
Coworker at happy hour: It doesn’t matter. I like food, I’ve got great boobs and people dig me.
Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: JD
I Wondered Why She Was So Hairy.
College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?
Fulton, Missouri
Overheard by: The Sweetheart
A Yummy Potpourri Potato
Girl #1: I ate this thing… It was, like, a candle. Or a potato.
Girl #2: No, no, it was a potato.
West Junior High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
You Keep Bringing Them Home for Me
Muscle gal: You are such a fuckin’ pussy.
Muscle guy: Fuck that, I could take a seven-foot black man.
Muscle gal: Awww, I know.
West County YMCA
St. Louis, Missouri
Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream/ Send Me a Girl Who Wants to Get Reamed
Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
