Mom: No, that’s not an appropriate video, either.
14-year-old son: What about this one? It’s Christian. It only has violence in it!
Blockbuster
Liberty, Missouri
Overheard by: blockbuster lurker
Archive for the ‘Missouri’ Category
Fisher-Price Introduces the Backyardigans Butt Plug
Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!
Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier
…Grandma.
Ghetto lady on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you better be at work and not out fucking around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talking about, motherfucker! (pause) Bitch, I am making tacos so I gotta get some fucking sour cream. (pause) I said I am making fucking tacos. (pause) Alright, I love you too.
Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: WesAli
You Owe Me for Helping You Realize You’re Gay
Young teenage boy: You owe me.
Young teenage girl: I owe you for what?
Young teenage boy: For sleeping with you for four years!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Abby C.
Eventually We Worked Out a Timeshare Situation
Girl: So this girl was like: “I want half your pants!”
Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Overheard by: Melissa
You’re Not Sure What to Bite Off First
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Like “Melancholy” or “Pterodactyl”?
Student: What’s “Nostradamus”? It that just some random, made-up word or something?
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Mr. Duchovny’s Voicemail Fills Up Fast
Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.
St. Louis, Missouri
I Think You’d Be Surprised
Cute queer #1: Yeah, but aren’t you worried about the sodomy laws around there?
Cute queer #2: No, not really.
Cute queer #1: My god, why not?
Cute queer #2: I don’t think that a fleshlight really counts as sodomy.
Grand Avenue
Saint Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Confused Dyke On The Corner
And That Was the Extent of My “Birds and Bees” Talk
Mom holding two tomatoes stuck together: Look, tomato twins!
Daughter: Oh my god! I love them!
Mom: They look like balls! [Laughs] Boy balls! [Walks away].
Daughter: Oh my god.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
