Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

We Can Bond by Watch­ing the Footage To­geth­er Lat­er

Mom: A 21-year-old girl from Oshkosh died to­day, but they aren’t say­ing how.
Col­lege daugh­ter: A house blew up this morn­ing… Well, a mo­bile home, ac­tu­al­ly.
Mom: And it killed that 21-year-old girl?!
Col­lege daugh­ter: Well, no. They’re un­re­lat­ed. Ac­tu­al­ly, I’m just try­ing to up­stage you… But a house re­al­ly did blow up.

Ap­ple­ton, Wis­con­sin

That’s for Church

Four-year-old boy to group of moth­ers: Guess what!
Group: What?
Four-year-old boy, ex­cit­ed: I just peed stand­ing up!
Boy’s fa­ther: That’s not some­thing we tell peo­ple!

Chil­dren’s Room, Ka­ton­ah Li­brary
Ka­ton­ah, New York

Over­heard by: amused li­brar­i­an

Trans­la­tion: “Wel­come to New York, Mutha­fuck­aaaas.”

MTA work­er to tourist mom buy­ing tick­ets with daugh­ter: 10 dol­lars.
Mom: Oh, but she’s a stu­dent.
Work­er, look­ing at daugh­ter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dol­lars please.

Sub­way Sta­tion
New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom