Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

So “Lehman” Is Out?

Big-haired moth­er to friends: I like what Sarah Palin did with her kids’ names. I mean, I want to give my kids names that are cool, but noth­ing that would, you know, pre­vent them from be­ing busi­ness ma­jors.

San An­to­nio, Texas

Over­heard by: An East Coast Elit­ist

But Here’s a Coupon for a Com­pli­men­ta­ry Cav­i­ty Search

Irate moth­er: No, you don’t un­der­stand. I need to board that plane now!
Stew­ardess at gate: Ma’m, you can­not board now. There is no air­plane at the end of the jet­way. Look–no plane out there.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/473032304/i‑bet-a-lot-of-people-dont-understand-that-woman.html

Over­heard by: de­layed flights al­ways make me ir­ra­tional too

This Is Why I Di­vorced Your Fa­ther

Moth­er to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog ap­proach­es, starts lick­ing kid’s face)
(kid laughs as moth­er be­comes even an­gri­er, then dog be­gins hump­ing kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Moth­er, calm­ly: See? This is what hap­pens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can’t lay down on the floor.

Port­land, Maine

We Thought We’d Give Him Some­thing to Make Him Ex­tra Hy­per

Five-year-old boy to barista: I’m get­ting my pee-pee cut off to­mor­row so I get a treat to­day!
Barista: Umm…
Moth­er to child: You are be­ing cir­cum­cised, not mu­ti­lat­ed! (to barista) It’s just a med­ical thing, he does­n’t re­al­ly get it.

Star­bucks
Carmel, In­di­ana

And She Makes an Ex­cel­lent Pa­per­weight

20-some­thing blonde: It’s just…she can’t talk, all she does is scream and cry. She’s not even a re­al per­son yet. I just don’t un­der­stand how you can love her so much!
Red­head, lov­ing­ly cradling ba­by: Shit, hon, you have to stop say­ing things like that. She’s your daugh­ter!

Café Nero
Lon­don
Eng­land

Over­heard by: Nit