Nine-year-old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/mom-im-nine-and-even-i-know-that-sounds.html
Overheard by: academia
Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category
No Need to Get All Paulette Goddard on Me
Teenage girl: Mom, you have to buy me this book!
Mom: No, I don't, and I shan't.
Teenage girl: You what?
Mom: I shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Yes. Shan't.
Teenage girl: That's a word?
Mom: Yes.
Teenage girl: What's it mean?
Mom: It's a contraction of “shall not”, as in “I shan't buy you that book.”
Teenage girl: Ugh, fine! Enough shan'ting already!
Borders Bookstore
Olathe, Kansas
…When I Sat on His Face. What?
Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were… While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's…what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh…your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.
San Francisco, California
So “Lehman” Is Out?
Big-haired mother to friends: I like what Sarah Palin did with her kids' names. I mean, I want to give my kids names that are cool, but nothing that would, you know, prevent them from being business majors.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: An East Coast Elitist
Someone Who Can Afford Better Than Macy’s
Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay… What’s a hooker?
Macy’s, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland
Overheard by: jd
And Don’t Even Get Me Started on Bob Barker
Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.
Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado
As I Told Your Father When I Proposed to Him
Mom to running, laughing child: Stop running! You can have fun when we get home.
Wal-Mart
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: shannon
…In a Non-Sexual Way?
Behavioral therapist, in very serious voice, to child with autism about animal crackers: Jason, put the elephant in your mouth!
Child's mother, laughing: How often do you honestly get to say that?
St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: aba therapist
Who Wants to Know?
Little boy: My teacher doesn't wear a bra!
Mother: Did she tell you that or did you just notice?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Or Reject Gender Stratification
Five-year boy in front of a door: (frantically) Which one? I have to go!
Exasperated mother: The men’s room.
Little boy: Which one?!
Mother: That one (points) and that’s why you need to learn to read.
Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina