Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

From the Run­away Best-Sell­er Is My Child Goth?

Moth­er to two laugh­ing chil­dren run­ning down side­walk: Get back here! Hold her hand! Get back here right this in­stant! [Catch­es them and grabs their hands, pulling them back to­wards their house, point­ing at a near­by car.] That car is sit­ting there. What if that man would have backed out and hit you?! What if he could­n’t have seen you? What then?
Four-year old boy: Then hooray! Hooray!

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

It’s a Twofer!

Child run­ning up es­ca­la­tor: I’m win­ning again!
Mom, huff­ing and puff­ing on oth­er es­ca­la­tor: Yeah, well, I’m hav­ing a stroke, so…

Cleve­land Park Metro sta­tion
Wash­ing­ton, DC

For Some Rea­son, They Nev­er Had Vanil­la

Mr. Hon, hang­ing on car door: Hon! Tell mom here ex­act­ly where that swingers’ club is, that I took you to on your birth­day.
(wife says some­thing un­in­tel­li­gi­ble as she walks down path to­wards car)
Mom, sit­ting in car: Oh! That’s where I used to buy ice cream when I was a lit­tle kid!

Pub­lic Pond
Ket­ter­ing, Ohio