Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
Later, They’d Vomit Up Quarters
Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
Clearly, You Are No Donna Reed
Hipster guy: I cried so much when I watched it.
Hipster girl: It’s a Wonderful Life made you cry? Ha!
Hipster guy: Shhhh! (looks around furtively)
Wellington
New Zealand
On the Intellectual Version Of Double Dare
Professor: They were playing the Rocky theme song while I was trying to think great thoughts.
McDaniel College, Maryland
You’re Not Writing Your Own Vows, Are You?
Person #1: What’s that movie with Tom Hanks and the volleyball?
Person #2: Castaway.
Person #1: Oh, I’m so bored… You’re like the volleyball to me. I don’t necessarily like you, but you’re there and I’m alone.
Guam
I’m Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it’s purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Ooo, What About an Intravenous Drip Filled with Cosmo?
Girl #1: I am so excited for the Sex and the City movie!
Girl #2: Me too! We should go out for drinks before the movie. Not too many cuz then we will have to take potty brakes during the movie and I don’t want to miss anything!
Girl #1: Oh, good call, maybe we should wear diapers. I would totally wear a diaper for this movie!
Girl #2: Totally!
Peoria, Illinois
Like God, If They Didn’t Exist, TV Would Have to Invent Them
Young film intern asked to come up with new story: What about a girl surrounded by her sassy, lesbian friends? Do lesbians come in sassy?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: I honestly don’t know
Requiem for a Dream? Really?
Passenger to attendant: Excuse me? They turned the movie off.
Attendant: Yes, we’re landing earlier than thought.
Passenger: Oh, but the movie wasn’t over.
Attendant: Sorry about that, but we need to turn it off for descent.
Passenger: But I was watching it!
Attendant: I am very sorry, but since we have started our descent…
Passenger, interrupting: But now I don’t know how it ends!
Attendant: They all lived happily ever after.
Qantas Flight to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Seat 14 F
He’s Gone So Many Places No Man Has Gone Before
Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.
Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado
