Archive for the ‘Murder’ Category

You’d Think There’d Be a Train

Cana­di­an girl #1 to tour op­er­a­tor: Where can we do tours of Auschwitz?
Tour op­er­a­tor: Um, well, Auschwitz is in Poland, so…
Cana­di­an girl #2: No, but we mean the one the Ger­mans set up for the war. The Ger­man one.
Tour op­er­a­tor: Yes, I un­der­stand, but they set it up in Poland.
Cana­di­an girl #1, af­ter pause: Are you sure? We came to Berlin just to see it.


Over­heard by: Jit

This Sea­son’s Most Un­like­ly Love Sto­ry

Girl, look­ing at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill peo­ple all day and run around.
Boy fol­low­ing her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop be­ing gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, look­ing ap­palled: I’d be busy killing peo­ple, though.
Boy, mat­ter-of-fact­ly: Well… I’d make you stop every thir­teen kills.

Ran­dom Wal­mart
Boise, Ida­ho

Over­heard by: Bun­nee

Or Is That Necrophil­ia?

So­cial prob­lems teacher: So what are some so­cial prob­lems that af­fect us to­day?
Fe­male stu­dent: Mur­der?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any oth­ers?
Male stu­dent: Nar­cis­sism?
Teacher: I don’t quite un­der­stand…
Male stu­dent: Well if peo­ple are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…

Grand Rapids Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege
Grand Rapids, Michi­gan