Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

We’ll Be De­part­ing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off

Pi­lot over loud­speak­er (riff­ing on har­mon­i­ca): This is your cap­tain speak­ing, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Wel­come aboard, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Please fas­ten your seat belts. (har­mon­i­ca riff) Or we won’t be able to leave beau­ti­ful At­lanta, Geor­gia.
(does long, jazzy har­mon­i­ca riff. Pas­sen­gers ap­plaud)
Pi­lot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.

Amer­i­can Air­lines Flight
At­lanta, Geor­gia

Do They Count If You Have to Blow Them Up?

Mu­sic his­to­ry pro­fes­sor: Dar­win says that the sole pur­pose for liv­ing things is to sur­vive and pro­cre­ate. What about us, as mu­si­cians? Do we need mu­sic to sur­vive and pro­cre­ate? Well, some peo­ple be­lieve that mu­sic was cre­at­ed as a sort of mat­ing call. Com­pare the re­pro­duc­tive life of Ji­mi Hen­drix to the re­pro­duc­tive life of… well, me.
Class: Um…
Mu­sic his­to­ry pro­fes­sor: Well, clear­ly I win hands-down be­cause of all my groupies.

1 East Mount Ver­non Place
Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: stravin­sky

Say Bye-Bye to the ’90s, Mom

Mom: But dear, you must like swing mu­sic. It’s sim­ply in­fec­tious!
Five-year-old daugh­ter: Mom, I do not like swing mu­sic.

Sacra­men­to, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: I don’t like swing mu­sic ei­ther