Loud man: …and he wakes me up at night licking my eyelids!
Siam Orchid
Manchester, New Hampshire
Archive for the ‘New Hampshire’ Category
…If You Know What I Mean…
Student to friend: When she painted the banana, or vice-versa.
Colby-Sawyer College
New Hampshire
Overheard by: J.McC
Succubi Are Surprisingly Good Mothers, Considering
Small boy: [Runs up to his mother and hugs her around the waist.] Don’t take my soul!
Macy’s
Salem, New Hampshire
Last Time I Messed Up the Order and Ruined the Whole Thing.
Wannabe thug, carrying Celtics flag: First I’m gonna get blood on it, and then ash!
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
As You’d Know If You Ever Watched TV With Me
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it’s six feet.
Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire
Overheard by: jefe
Always Calling Them Fat and Poking at Their Thighs
Girl, pointing at KFC: Don’t eat there. They’re mean to the chickens.
Keene, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Really?
God Decides to Test Out a More Adorable Grim Reaper
Little boy, excitedly: Everybody’s dying these days!
Hooksett, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Evee
Santa Sure Has Changed Over the Years.
Girl to friend: He’s like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Liz Nelson
How Hard Is That?
Old woman, yelling: Did you remember to put Viagra on the list?
Old man, yelling, very annoyed: Of course I did!
Old woman, yelling: Well, I don’t know! You forgot to put milk on the list!
Mall
New Hampshire
…Now You Pay Attention?
Teacher holding VCR remote control: I keep hitting play, this stupid thing won’t work. Must need new batteries.
(changes batteries)
Teacher: Damn thing still won’t work, you’d think they would buy machines that work, how are you supposed to learn with such crappy materials?
Student in front row: Ummm… Is that the tape on top of the VCR?
Teacher: Goddamn it!
Manchester, New Hampshire
