Archive for the ‘New Jersey’ Category

She May Have Put Her Pie on Your Pie

Room­mate #1 look­ing at crater-filled pie in freez­er: Dude, what did you do to this pie?
Room­mate #2: Me and Erin* kin­da went at it…
Room­mate #3: Oh, yeah? What else did you guys do?
Room­mate #2: …with a spoon.

Bay­onne, New Jer­sey

And Whose Wingtips Were Those Next to the Door?

Girl­friend: I’m telling you, you def­i­nite­ly came in­side my pussy last night.
Boyfriend: But I was fuck­ing your ass!
Girl­friend: No, sweet­ie, that was my pussy.
Boyfriend: Then how come my dick had shit all over it this morn­ing?

Train sta­tion
Pa­ter­son, New Jer­sey

Are You Preg­nant?

Girl­friend: You still have Jack Daniels in my fridge! All nice and frozen. Well, it’s not frozen be­cause al­co­hol has a high freez­ing point, but it’s been in there for months so it’s as “frozen” as it’s gonna get, well, not re­al­ly be­cause…
Stressed-out boyfriend: Woman! Too many words in that sen­tence!

Saint Pe­ter’s Col­lege
New Jer­sey

Best. Peer Ad­vi­sor. Ever.

Cu­ri­ous friend: Does­n’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey