Archive for the ‘New Jersey’ Category

So It’s Like…a Gay Bar?

Guy, af­ter burn­ing left hand: But this is my spe­cial hand…
Friend: Why can’t you just use your right hand for a while?
Guy: It’s like be­ing jerked off by a stranger.
Friend: What?
Guy: Imag­ine a stranger comes up to you and starts talk­ing to you, and sud­den­ly just starts jerk­ing you off. (pause) Yeah. That’s how it feels like.

Bay­onne, New Jer­sey

She May Have Put Her Pie on Your Pie

Room­mate #1 look­ing at crater-filled pie in freez­er: Dude, what did you do to this pie?
Room­mate #2: Me and Erin* kin­da went at it…
Room­mate #3: Oh, yeah? What else did you guys do?
Room­mate #2: …with a spoon.

Bay­onne, New Jer­sey

And Whose Wingtips Were Those Next to the Door?

Girl­friend: I’m telling you, you def­i­nite­ly came in­side my pussy last night.
Boyfriend: But I was fuck­ing your ass!
Girl­friend: No, sweet­ie, that was my pussy.
Boyfriend: Then how come my dick had shit all over it this morn­ing?

Train sta­tion
Pa­ter­son, New Jer­sey

Are You Preg­nant?

Girl­friend: You still have Jack Daniels in my fridge! All nice and frozen. Well, it’s not frozen be­cause al­co­hol has a high freez­ing point, but it’s been in there for months so it’s as “frozen” as it’s gonna get, well, not re­al­ly be­cause…
Stressed-out boyfriend: Woman! Too many words in that sen­tence!

Saint Pe­ter’s Col­lege
New Jer­sey