Overheard Everywhere

Archive for the ‘New York’ Category

When You Lo­cate the Con­trols Of Your Space­craft

Quirky les­bian pro­fes­sor lead­ing class in Kegel ex­er­cis­es: And every­body squeeze, hold, hold…release and squeeze, two, three…release.
Ditzy In­di­an, af­ter shiv­er spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky les­bian pro­fes­sor: It’s great, right!

Health Ed Class
Bor­ough of Man­hat­tan Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege, New York

Over­heard by: Try­ing not to laugh at all the se­ri­ous faces try­ing to hide these pri­vate ex­er­cis­es

What Ap­ple?

Girl­friend: You’re still ty­ing your shoes with bun­ny ears?
Boyfriend: The oth­er way is re­al­ly hard!
Girl­friend: It’s so easy!
Boyfriend: Look, I have to do the bun­ny ears. I can’t tie my shoes the oth­er way. It’s like, the bun­ny goes around the tree 50 bil­lion times, then hides in its hole, comes out and the mon­goose chas­es it… Then the rab­bit eats the ap­ple!

High school
Ham­burg, New York

In the Hamp­tons, That’s a Mar­riage Pro­pos­al

Guy from in­side Port-A-Pot­ty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my Black­Ber­ry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, some­body’s got to stick their hand in there!
Dude wait­ing in line: I think I’ll use the oth­er one. I don’t want to be the first per­son to piss on your Black­Ber­ry.

Rock the Farm Ben­e­fit
East Hamp­ton, New York

That’s for Church

Four-year-old boy to group of moth­ers: Guess what!
Group: What?
Four-year-old boy, ex­cit­ed: I just peed stand­ing up!
Boy’s fa­ther: That’s not some­thing we tell peo­ple!

Chil­dren’s Room, Ka­ton­ah Li­brary
Ka­ton­ah, New York

Over­heard by: amused li­brar­i­an