Old man in hospital bed, to family: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of the land!
Poughkeepsie, New York
Archive for the ‘New York’ Category
But You’re Our Spanish Teacher
White teacher: Time to yell grades! These are the good ones: Smith, Jameson, De-Jesus…
Asian kid, whispering to friend: Isn’t it supposed to be Degesis?
White kid, to teacher: Did you just say ‘De-Jesus‘?
White teacher: I’m white.
Columbia, New York
Overheard by: Father Seraph
Unless Our Government Reinstates the Draft
Philosophy professor: I can't say I would rather have M&Ms than strong feet.
SUNY Purchase
Purchase, New York
Overheard by: Seth
She Just Goes There to Have Sex in the Steam Room.
Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn't remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn't remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”
Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Taught Me the “White Elephant”
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
If All We’re Gonna Do Is Fall Down Them
Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don’t know why we have them…
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Things Couldn't Be Any Worse If We Were Victims Of Nuclear Holocaust!
Jappy milf #1: I just feel like all I do is sell houses. And I hate it. I just hate my life!
Jappy milf #2: Ugh, I know. We really need to get out of Armonk!
Jappy milf #1: I know. I hate my house! I hate everything in it! My life is horrible here!
Armonk, New York
You Know, We Should Talk Less
Guy: Have you seen The Swede?
Friends: No …
Guy: It’s like the Citizen Kane of bad Korean movies!
Oyster Bay
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: tell me what you really think
Let's Stick to First Abortions, Okay?
Professor: I want you to write about the first time you did something. It can be anything. The first time you rode a bike. The first time you made a baby. (awkward pause) Wait!
Syracuse University
New York
Always a Burning Question
Sensitive soul: Why would I fuck you if you have a rash?
Dining Hall, Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: Slightly amused but scared