Professor: I advise you all to make love, at least once, outside in the rain. It’s the best feeling in the world.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Mackenzie
Archive for the ‘New York’ Category
But If I Did, I’d Advise You to Go with the Heart-Shaped Nipple Clamps
Dad to son, passing Valentine’s Day t‑shirt display: These are kind of nice for your mom, no?
Son: It’s for mom, what do I care?
City Center Mall
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: Nathan
…Now That We’ve Invented These Little Wagons for Them.
Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don’t want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
…Remember When We Used to Talk About Politics?
60-year-old man #1: Do you get the Disney channel?
60-year-old man #2: I sure do!
60-year-old man #1: Do you ever watch Kim Possible?
60-year-old man #2: It’s my favorite show!
60-year-old man #1: No way! Me too!
60-year-old man #2, attempting to sing: Call me, beep me, if ya’ wanna reach me!
60-year-old man #1: (silence)
60-year-old man #2: I like the naked rat.
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Troy, New York
Overheard by: Bacon
When You Abducted That Thong It Was Like You Ripped Out My Very Soul
20-something crying girl: You. Don’t. Get. It. I bleed Victoria’s Secret.
Duff’s Wings
Buffalo, New York
Is It or Is It Not the High Holy Days?
Boy #1: Dude, you know what the best time to get high would be? Right before temple.
Boy #2: No, dude, it’s Yom Kippur. You’ll be so hungry…
Private High School
New York, New York
Overheard by: so many things wrong with this
And I Do Mean Everything
Boy #1: I’m gonna take out my iPhone and post these pictures on YouTube.
Boy #2: You can’t post photos on YouTube.
Boy #1: Fine, I’ll post them on Facebook.
Boy #2: You don’t have a Facebook.
Boy #1: I’ll e‑mail them to your mom. She posts everything on Facebook.
Central Islip, New York
Overheard by: Val
Best. Birthday Party. Ever.
Teen boy to girl: No! It was an Indian! And it was not vagina soup!
Danby, New York
One Word: Lube.
Girlfriend: No, whenever we try to have sex it always ends in tears!
Albany, New York
But, for the Record, I Adore David Spade
Girl #1: She’s pregnant? I thought she was on birth control?
Girl #2: She still is.
Girl #1: Isn’t that bad for the baby?
Girl #2: Not really, all that will happen is if it’s a boy, it will start looking more like a girl…
Girl #1: That’s messed up.
Bathroom Stall, Nutty Irishman Bar
Farmingdale, New York
Overheard by: Jennifer
