Archive for the ‘New York’ Category

Also Sums Up Burt Reynolds’ Career

Big guy to buddy: If I’d shaved my mustache like I was planning to, none of this would have happened.

Chili’s
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: sara

I’ll Put Them on Ice for You ’til After the Exam

Guy to another: Dude, just study your nuts off and you’ll be fine.

Binghamton University
New York

The U.N. Delegates Have This Problem All the Time.

Smokin’ hot gay guy on phone: I bought the table under the impression that it was fuck-proof. My husband challenged me last night to prove otherwise. Now my table has been fucked through and Mark* isn’t talking to me right now. (pause) Yeah, it does sound like a funny problem to have, but it’s really not.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: The Sauce

But Is It Worth Having to See The Bucket List?

Dude: If you don’t come along, I’ll have your first-born child sodomized. By a moose.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Russ

But Instead It Was Kindergarteners.

Guy: We could have been run over by trucks or seagulls.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Nik

If “Swaziland” Is Already Taken

Girl, looking at bag of coffee: Tan-zay-nee-uh. Hey, I didn’t know that was a country!
(friends laugh)
Girl: That’s a pretty name, I’m going to name my daughter that!

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Shall We Try “P” for “Polanski”?

Guy #1: What aisle are we looking for?
Guy #2: We should be looking under teen girls’ rugs.
Guy #1: Yikes!

Furniture Store
New York City, New York

Most Girls Fear Being Gaynablers

Young boyfriend, trying to weasel out of seeing Legally Blonde 2: I… I just don’t think I’m emotionally ready for the uncut version. Do you think I’m ready? I don’t.
Young girlfriend: You should have pulled the “it might make me gay” card.
Friend: I think his way was more gay.
Young girlfriend: Which concerns me…

Scotrun, New York