Cop: You know there’s a warrant out for your arrest, right?
Guy with arm in cast: Oh, really?
Cop: Yeah… So we should probably have a chat about that.
Town Court
Duanesburg, New York
Overheard by: 91 in a 65
Archive for the ‘New York’ Category
Taught Me the “White Elephant”
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
What Apple?
Girlfriend: You’re still tying your shoes with bunny ears?
Boyfriend: The other way is really hard!
Girlfriend: It’s so easy!
Boyfriend: Look, I have to do the bunny ears. I can’t tie my shoes the other way. It’s like, the bunny goes around the tree 50 billion times, then hides in its hole, comes out and the mongoose chases it… Then the rabbit eats the apple!
High school
Hamburg, New York
While You, Me, and Dupre Taught Me to Value Threesomes
Cute girl to friend: But I don’t want a booty call! (pause) But the message of the notebook made me realize how important they are.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Anna
In the Hamptons, That’s a Marriage Proposal
Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody’s got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I’ll use the other one. I don’t want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.
Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York
That’s for Church
Four-year-old boy to group of mothers: Guess what!
Group: What?
Four-year-old boy, excited: I just peed standing up!
Boy’s father: That’s not something we tell people!
Children’s Room, Katonah Library
Katonah, New York
Overheard by: amused librarian
But We Have Legal Marijuana
Canadian tourist #1: Guys, you know what the States have that most of Canada doesn’t?
Three others: What?
Canadian tourist #1: Black people…
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Bored At Work
Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.
Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners… right?
Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York
Overheard by: Ldawg
Translation: “Welcome to New York, Muthafuckaaaas.”
MTA worker to tourist mom buying tickets with daughter: 10 dollars.
Mom: Oh, but she’s a student.
Worker, looking at daughter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dollars please.
Subway Station
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom
Oh, Biblically.
Five-year-old girl, pointing to picture on cup: Who’s that?
Babysitter: That’s Ronald McDonald.
Five-year-old girl: Oh… How do you know him?
McDonald’s
Manhattan, New York
