Archive for the ‘New York’ Category

With the Possible Exception of the Dominant Chord

Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

And Why’s Her Brother Waving Happily from the Pool?

Drunk girl: Hey. Hey! Everyone be quiet for a second — I want to make a toast. I just want to remind everyone why we’re here, and that’s because my brother finally shit successfully.
Drunk guy: What the fuck did she just say?

House party
Holbrook, New York

Overheard by: pc

Audrina from The Hills: Explained.

Woman #1, washing hands: What happened to your chin?
Woman #2: Oh! Uh, Justin head-butted me.
Woman #1: He what?
Woman #2: Oh, well, not like on purpose or anything, just, like, while we were messing around, or whatever.
Woman #1: Mmmmm…
Woman #2: Yeah, I was in like a bad accident when I was a kid so my face doesn’t take blunt force trauma very well since then.

Manhattan, New York

If Only the UN Were This Tolerant

Guy #1: … And he’d just sit in the back at these meetings listening, and every now and then he’d say something really intelligent — really eloquent, you know? And we’d all be like, ‘Wow, that was amazing,’ and then we’d notice his testicles were out.
Guy #2: Damn, I miss that guy.

Sub Connection, Ithaca College
New York

Overheard by: BLT on a garlic wrap