Archive for the ‘New York’ Category

I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story

Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: “What the fuck are you doing? You’re gonna pull all your hair out!” … Haha yeah… She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions… She probably watches me sleep.

UB Bus
Buffalo, New York

Pat’s Her Dustbuster

Sorority chick #1: Pat* and I hooked up last night, and now I have a hickey…
Sorority chick #2: What is he, in junior high? I didn’t know people still did that.

Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Overheard by: Evie

Apparently She Needs the Practice

Goth teen girl: If you don’t come back to me, I’ll kill myself.
Exasperated teen guy: Why the fuck do you do this shit to me?
Friend: Don’t listen to her. She’s always killing herself.

East Bay Diner
Oceanside, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry