Archive for the ‘Nipples’ Category

We’ll Be De­part­ing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off

Pi­lot over loud­speak­er (riff­ing on har­mon­i­ca): This is your cap­tain speak­ing, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Wel­come aboard, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Please fas­ten your seat belts. (har­mon­i­ca riff) Or we won’t be able to leave beau­ti­ful At­lanta, Geor­gia.
(does long, jazzy har­mon­i­ca riff. Pas­sen­gers ap­plaud)
Pi­lot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.

Amer­i­can Air­lines Flight
At­lanta, Geor­gia

We’ve Lived a Life­time in This One El­e­va­tor Ride

Pro­fes­sion­al­ly dressed Asian girl (in a low voice): I can’t be­lieve you showed that girl your pubes, man!
Short, pudgy Asian guy (in a low in­dig­nant voice): Well *I* can’t be­lieve you showed her your in­nie nip­ple!

El­e­va­tor, Mont­gomery Street
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Mc­Nasty

But I Will

Teen gay guy: Hey, do you ever col­or your nip­ples?
Teen girl: Huh?
Teen gay guy: When you get bored you, don’t take a Sharpie and col­or your nip­ples? (pulls up shirt and points) See, this one’s pink and this one’s blue.
Teen girl: Um…no, I don’t.

Ore­gon

Over­heard by: nys­sa