Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category

For Some Rea­son, They Nev­er Had Vanil­la

Mr. Hon, hang­ing on car door: Hon! Tell mom here ex­act­ly where that swingers’ club is, that I took you to on your birth­day.
(wife says some­thing un­in­tel­li­gi­ble as she walks down path to­wards car)
Mom, sit­ting in car: Oh! That’s where I used to buy ice cream when I was a lit­tle kid!

Pub­lic Pond
Ket­ter­ing, Ohio

Imag­ine That.

Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: My friend said that I should use Pho­to­shop and imag­i­na­tion to do this. I have Pho­to­shop, but where can I get imag­i­na­tion? I’ve nev­er heard of it.
White boyfriend: You’re kid­ding me, right?
Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no soft­ware called “imag­i­na­tion.” Just use your imag­i­na­tion. Duh!
Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: You’re so not get­ting a blowjob tonight.

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: The white boyfriend

But Here’s a Coupon for a Com­pli­men­ta­ry Cav­i­ty Search

Irate moth­er: No, you don’t un­der­stand. I need to board that plane now!
Stew­ardess at gate: Ma’m, you can­not board now. There is no air­plane at the end of the jet­way. Look–no plane out there.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/473032304/i‑bet-a-lot-of-people-dont-understand-that-woman.html

Over­heard by: de­layed flights al­ways make me ir­ra­tional too

… Ac­tu­al­ly, Can I Just Get a Hot Choco­late?

Cus­tomer: I’d like some tea… Or­gan­ic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have or­gan­ic lemon and or­gan­ic Earl Grey.
Cus­tomer: Um… Ac­tu­al­ly, I want­ed the or­gan­ic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Cus­tomer: Okay, then. That’s the one I’ll have.

De­sign Cof­fee shop, Uni­ver­si­ty of Wash­ing­ton
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Just Me