Announcement: There’s a gray car parked outside, four feet into the street.
Older woman: It’s mine. I don’t park cars; I just sort of abandon them.
Portsmouth, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category
So Many Watershed Moments Happen at Banana Republic
(in the Georgetown Banana Republic)
Girl #1: I really love this dress, but I think it’s a tad too short for work. I’m only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.
Girl #2: Really? It’s not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.
Girl #1: Did you think I’m ugly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your resume.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/who-wears-short-shorts.html
Overheard by: Ian
Casting Agents Get More Like Pimps Every Day
Girl on cell: Look, fine, then if you don’t want Lucy Liu I’ll hook you up with her sister. Then you can have two for one!
Film Class
Queen’s University
Canadia
Overheard by: Umm can I get in on that?
Fowl Behavior?
Woman: So, I want a small frozen turkey.
Meat guy: Okay, just right over here.
Woman: Ewww… What’s wrong with this one?
Meat guy: Sorry?
Woman: Well, is something missing?
Meat guy: Um… No.
Woman: Well, what is this “grain fed” business??
Meat guy: Oh, that means it’s fed with grains.
Woman: Oh! (picks up turkey and leaves)
Grocery Store
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Matt C
They Both Swear They’re Straight
Middle aged man: Hey, Jesse! Wanna wrestle?
Shirtless young man: I’ll wrestle you if you give me a Jägerbomb!
Middle aged man: You better hurry, we’re running out!
Traverse City, Michigan
If One More Person Asks Me That Today…
Guy to table of friends: I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: CJ
Did I Not Put My Tit in Your Coffee This Very Morning?
Older man: Let’s go to that bikini coffee shop!
Younger woman: What? What?
Older man: It’s a coffee shop where women with self esteem issues wear bikinis and serve… coffee. What’s not to get?
Younger woman: Fuck you.
Seattle, Washington
Christmas Is Rapidly Approaching, and I Need a Present for My Wife
Biology professor: So how would you go about getting two and a half humps on a camel? It’s very important, we need to do that.
Memorial University
St. John’s, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Um, This Is Applebee’s.
Intercom: The store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please bring your purchases to the front of the store to the check-out line. We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience. Thank you for shopping at K‑Mart… Shit, I mean “Wal-Mart.”
Wal-Mart
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Caitlin
One Of the Reasons We Came to Thailand.
Girl #1, looking at picture: Oh my gosh! Look, the first aider is totally judging her. If I was passed out from crack, I would so not wanna be judged.
Girl #2: Oh, I know, totally!
Thailand
