Overheard Everywhere

Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category

When You Lo­cate the Con­trols Of Your Space­craft

Quirky les­bian pro­fes­sor lead­ing class in Kegel ex­er­cis­es: And every­body squeeze, hold, hold…release and squeeze, two, three…release.
Ditzy In­di­an, af­ter shiv­er spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky les­bian pro­fes­sor: It’s great, right!

Health Ed Class
Bor­ough of Man­hat­tan Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege, New York

Over­heard by: Try­ing not to laugh at all the se­ri­ous faces try­ing to hide these pri­vate ex­er­cis­es

In the Mean­time, Would You Like to Take My Card?

Wild­ly beard­ed hobo rid­ing rusty bi­cy­cle and wear­ing on­ly one shoe and para­chute pants: Why, hel­lo miss. Would you be in­ter­est­ed in en­ter­ing in­to a mu­tu­al­ly ben­e­fi­cial body mas­sage arrange­ment?
Sur­prised, red­head­ed woman: Uh­h­h­hh, not to­day, thank you.
Hobo: I’ll try back lat­er.

Queen West
Toron­to
Cana­dia

Roseanne Barr: The Flight At­ten­dant Years

An­gry suit: When is this plane go­ing to take off? I have a very im­por­tant meet­ing to get to!
Flight at­ten­dant: The in­com­ing plane is de­layed, sir, there’s noth­ing we can do at the mo­ment.
An­gry suit: Well, are you go­ing to make arrange­ments for me to get on an­oth­er flight? This is ur­gent! Do you know who I am?
Flight at­ten­dant (over loud­speak­er): Ex­cuse me, ladies and gen­tle­men, there is a gen­tle­man at the desk who does not know who he is. If any­one has any in­for­ma­tion about his iden­ti­ty, please come for­ward.

Mid­way Air­port
Chica­go, Illi­nois