Archive for the ‘Ohio’ Category

We Don’t Want to Get Him Confused with Mommy

Six-year-old boy, about new kitten: That pussycat is crazy! He eats anything and everything… I mean, he was eating carrots! We need to give him a name… How about ‘Food Kitty’? Or ‘Pussy Eater’?
Mom: Uhhh, no. Not that one.

Polaris Mall
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: jweils

The Auto-Abortion Function Would Be Optional

Loud black lady in long line: Girl, I know how you feel! Every time I try to buy a pregnancy test, there gotta be a big ordeal! The line too long, or there someone you know.
Girl with pregnancy test, embarrassed and chuckling: Yeah…
Loud black lady: I wish I could just go in my toilet, then push a button and have my toilet say, ‘Uh-huh, you pregnant today!’

Van Wert, Ohio

Overheard by: Woah, that’s not a bad idea…

While the Catcher Uses Rye

Little leaguer #1: My team is really good this summer!
Dad: Your team stinks. Your outfielder eats grass.
Little leaguer #2: Yes, but he’s going au natural. He also puts sunflower seeds in his ears.

Jacobs Field
Cleveland, Ohio

Next on Maury

Brunette: And then he called me back ten minutes later and told me his brother got his girlfriend pregnant, and she's like sixteen or something.
Blonde: Is he mad his brother and his girlfriend hooked up?
Brunette: He's got more serious issues dating a child and shit.

Kent State University
Kent, Ohio