Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
Chick: I really think my gynecologist helps our relationship, though.
Starbucks
Edmond, Oklahoma
Roommate on phone: You’ve gotta get through the ribcage.
University of Oklahoma
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Wondering what they’re planning.
Guy: Men are bastards. I’m a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?
Norman, Oklahoma
Teen girl to friend: I’m too sexy for my vulva.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
30-something woman to 20-something woman: I had a crush–a psychotic crush–on Viggo Mortensen, and only you would understand. I hallucinated that he read me poetry!
Norman, Oklahoma
Chick: Just imagine — you go home and your mother has a hot Ecuadorian boy stashed in the back bedroom.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
20-something loud man: I would not put my dick in her ear. That’s how not interested I am.
Norman, Oklahoma
Lady on cell: Just because she’s wearing big-girl panties doesn’t mean she’s not your baby.
Target
Midwest City, Okahoma
Female heard through the wall, after giving blow job: That’s all you have to say? “Thanks?“
Male, through wall: Moshi-moshi.
Female, exasperated: See, that’s your problem! Half the time you don’t even speak English anymore!
Male: That was “thank you” in Japanese.
Female: Oh.
Norman, Oklahoma
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist