Teen girl to friend: I’m too sexy for my vulva.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Archive for the ‘Oklahoma’ Category
Why Many Therapists Quit.
30-something woman to 20-something woman: I had a crush–a psychotic crush–on Viggo Mortensen, and only you would understand. I hallucinated that he read me poetry!
Norman, Oklahoma
Will It Make a Difference If He’s Guatemalan?
Chick: Just imagine — you go home and your mother has a hot Ecuadorian boy stashed in the back bedroom.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
When Straight Guys Are Forced to Watch Martha Stewart
20-something loud man: I would not put my dick in her ear. That’s how not interested I am.
Norman, Oklahoma
I Don’t Know Whether To Laugh, Say “Awww.…”, Call DSS, Or Puke In My Mouth
Lady on cell: Just because she’s wearing big-girl panties doesn’t mean she’s not your baby.
Target
Midwest City, Okahoma
Time to Invest in Some Bose Headphones, Dear Reader
Female heard through the wall, after giving blow job: That’s all you have to say? “Thanks?“
Male, through wall: Moshi-moshi.
Female, exasperated: See, that’s your problem! Half the time you don’t even speak English anymore!
Male: That was “thank you” in Japanese.
Female: Oh.
Norman, Oklahoma
My Mistake Was Shaking His Hand
20-something to friend: I can’t believe you asked if he was the handjob guy!
Norman, Oklahoma
Personally, I’ll Be Grading the Exams at a Bar
Professor: I don’t think we’ll have class on Monday — I’d rather you study for the final… Preferably not at a bar… But I realize the temptation may be tremendous.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Even Mothers Don’t Really Know Where Babies Come From
60-something woman: He has always been a quiet person. He’s been that way for as long as I have know him, and I have known him since he was a little boy.
Car salesman: Yeah. Wait, didn’t you give birth to him?
Woman: I guess I have known him pretty much from the beginning, then. Weird.
Car Dealership
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: stephen
Got Any Bacon Chocolate?
Woman looking at chocolate display case: I don’t want any of those. Those aren’t death-on-a-stick enough.
Coco Flow
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Reiza
