Old man in hospital bed, to family: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of the land!
Poughkeepsie, New York
Archive for the ‘Old folks’ Category
A Gal Can Dream
Old woman shopping with friend, picking up jeans: Well, these looked good on George Strait.
Warrenton, Virginia
Broke Something I Didn't Know I Had
Old guy: So did you have hallway sex last night?
Old fat guy: Uh… Yeah… Last night was kinda crazy.
Taco Truck
Visalia, California
That's Just Our German Chocolate Cake, Ma'am
Little old lady to cashier: Satan puked here.
Rapid City, South Dakota
Then I’m Gonna Emancipate Yo’ Ass
Angry old man to frat guy: I’m gonna take you out back and teach you who the sixteenth president is.
Pub
Bloomfield, New Jersey
I'm Not Even Gonna Ask About Your Leash Collection
Grandmother: So my friend gave me dog biscuits for my birthday.
Teen girl: But you don't have a dog.
Grandmother: She knew I would appreciate them, dear.
Teen girl: And it isn't your birthday.
Grandmother: That doesn't matter. I was going to save them for the Boxer that young man brings around the home, but I got hungry around noon.
Teen girl: Oh no. You didn't.
Grandmother: What? It's not as if I ate them plain. I boiled a cup of coffee and dipped them.
Frammingham, Massachusetts
The Character Was So Lifelike
Older lady: Heath Ledger was The Joker? Boy, I never would have guessed that!
Movie Theater
Champaign-Urbana, Illinois
When Telepaths Mate
Old lady, walking up to old man: Hi there. Sorry I was just staring off at you. I had something on my mind and I think you were thinking it too. Bye!
Old man: Bye.
Sacred Heart University
Connecticut
In an Unrelated Question?
Old woman: They don't make that many good movies nowadays.
Young girl: That's not true! Want to order Daddy Day Camp?
Ontario, California
Overheard by: none
Think Reproduction
Cashier: Whoa, those are interesting checks!
Old woman: Yeah, they usually get a reaction.
Cashier: Are those dancing skeletons?
Pat’s IGA
Calumet, Michigan